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ribbons on sticks

I’d quite like to steal away titles Run fast with them Almost tumbling, the poem a ribbon trailing I see them all but I imagine the trip And an angry poet catching up with me Telling me not to break unwritten rules So I’m not ( ) With a tear stained face Allowing panic and terror To strip the surface from my eyes... Nor am I dwelling in ( ) Encased in a quiet Where the little known inner self speaks Holder of the missing words Of kaleidoscopic puzzles To immerse into the abstract And when I’m at ( ) I won’t tell of Moments when hearts Tumbled into one another Entering serenity Some kind of quiet Stillness, pausing to inhale But the ribbons fly I tumble and roll but hold them aloft For even on a day with no breeze It’s possible to try and run to create flight

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 12/3/2023 2:20:00 PM
I could actually picture you grabbing titles, imagining you on this wild run with trails of words like your ribbons. Those parentheses overflow with emotions, gah - with their blank ( ) stares.. from tear-streaked faces to moments when hearts tumble. The unique structure and vivid images had me soaring with the ribbons, DD. Stirring up those untold / hidden / kept stories, threads of strong writing and intelligent structure choices throughout.
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Da11y Avatar
Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/4/2023 7:43:00 AM
Thank you - I have formally very much enjoyed running with real ribbons and kites. It's a true joy, especially with an audience of loved ones rooting for you but the kite skidding along the ground haha. Thank you for the wonderful comment x

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