Relatives Re-Inact a Romantic Reconciliation

Oh, yes, Darling! Please meet me up the street, in fifteen minutes, right past the old tan house with that porch, bamboo. We need to talk about things, you and me, without your mean relatives, and that includes your cousin Ted Stew. I’d gladly trade this car for a completely untarnished marriage certificate, cleaned out of the day-old flu. But, fiance’, dearest, you have yet to show me your love nest, your side honey, or your super-secret tattoo, So now that you realize I might cost you money, you love me forever, and think you can let go and forget the Queen of Vooody-Voo- Doo? Sure, Sweet Darling. Being pre reasonable, I would certainly like to review our marriageable status, and begin trusting you anew. Of course, we had better hurry, so we get this trust thing sorted, and my family decides to re-include you, I do not think any love-you-forever ceremony, fancy hall, or wedding vows I will seriously pursue. If you decide to take the challenge, there on the steps wearing their juiciest smiles, are my mother, Grandma Kell and cousin Lou. Sure, they do all have guns, permits, frying pans, and razors. Confidentially, they’re in a hum dinger of a stew about you too. What more can I do, Sugar Bear? I’ve led you right to them, right up these pretty blue and white steps, and frankly, honey, it’s the best thing I could ever do. So saying, I guess all my relatives are ready to talk and slap and pinch and punch, and fight and scrap, and kick, because they’re sort of mad you made me so blue. Bye, Sweetie. I’m off for the weekend with my new honey, Rick, a gentle, kind, God-fearing man, who doesn’t want to stick around to see what they’re going to do.