Relapse Back To My Pad

I thought I could cope without you, but this year has been bad Pain, stress and heartbreak is all I've seen this year I made myself a promise that once I'd wiped my tears I would pick up my pen and relapse back to my pad I'd usually say it's been a year to forget, but it's been one to learn from and grow I've got to continue my journey, I refuse to give up, turn around and go But I've learned that If they don't appreciate my presence then I need to remove me I've lost loved ones over the past few years, I need to stay strong so loved ones don't lose me I grew up in foster care, hating my family, then this year my mother was taken ill I've been her carer since, and thankfully she's on the heal But she can't do much for herself, so I have to do most of it for her I'm thankful I could build a relationship with her and be strong enough to forget my childhood hurt I learned that holding a grudge, is kidnapping your current chance of happiness and holding yourself hostage Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes, otherwise you'll make yourself nauseous I enjoy a glass of brandy, but lately I've probably had a few too many glasses But when life continues to beat you down , you need to find something to relax with I used to fear love, and it was something I would run from I told Rebecca how I felt, just to discover she'd just started seeing someone I'm thankful she was honest, even if it's not with me, I still wish her the best I just hope she knows any guy she chooses, should treat her like a queen and nothing less We all have questions for life and we rarely get answers I know swearing will take away from my poem, but I need to say F cancer This week you took a good friend away from us Gill will always be in our hearts and memories, so she'll always stay with us I thought I could cope without you, but this year has been bad Pain, stress and heartbreak is all I've seen this year I made myself a promise that once I'd wiped my tears I would pick up my pen and relapse back to my pad