Reflections On a Suicide Note

Where does the writing become illegible?
I cannot reconstruct the thought I have tried to compose in ink.
They bend the pages 
They are not quite so simple as you might think.
So I find a pen in this unsteady hand
A hand writing for a mind plagued by confusion,
A mind confused by its own construction,
An affected constructed that plays on its ailments and its cures
And can't decide which poisons it more. 
Can you tell where the drugs set in and the urgency faded into a hum?
And the words wrote themselves as though I were dead or maybe just numb.
And its empty, 
Its all wrong,
It lacks depth.
And so I cry out
What is this life to me but what it does to my insides?
Oh Elliot!
I measure this life in weight, in wrinkles, in scars and sometimes broken ink.
I mix our blood and write in its memory,
intimacy.
If I effectively filled a vile with a memory 
It might  satiate some quilled desire to purge.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2007

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace