Reaching 175 Miles Every Minute In My Mind

I don’t want to argue It’s a total shutdown and suddenly I’m shouting Even if my shouting is just words sent across space I’m more resilient than it appears I’m more watching than participating I think that’s what happens before you let a pattern go I have said grossly exaggerated things So out of proportion that they are out of shape I feel so terrible I unleashed this on you Yes there is truth in it It’s what happened between truth and screaming I sincerely apologize for I avoid feeling miserable about our distance every day Everything about it puts me in a bad mood When I’m caught off guard and reminded I collapse It’s like successfully ignoring your flesh being burned Then seeing lights followed by silence and darkness when you check in on the pain I do love you enough I am committed enough That nerve is just very sore It makes me kick I’m sorry I kicked you I understand why you work when you do It is only logical I just can’t see that when I feel so alone without you I know it’s true It just doesn’t feel as real as crying over how apart our lives are And how unflippingfair it is Because we are stuck for intractable reasons Knowing we are only waiting… Is difficult to lean on When details of that future have yet to congeal I do have faith we have creativity to come together closely enough I just might fritz, need help, from time to time Working on it!! You know me better than me You must understand this about me Let us talk, let us clear some air, let us reassure and relax Forever yours