Raindrops

I didn't know Raindrops Could taste like Bad medicine, Novocaine Shot The wrong way Numbing Everything Down to my Fingertips- In the Inpatient Care They hide me From Myself, Drugged up, Those raindrops Only heard, Never touched As if you can Recognize Pain from a Distance And learn to Ignore the Pitter patter of it, Just background Music To a Symphony Of memories I'm supposed to Put on pause, Or delete Altogether- But I would need A Skin graft Of my Wrists, Hips, Lips even, To forget All the reasons Why I've Ended up Like this- It's been two weeks Since I got stuck Between these Same walls, Checked up on Every five minutes, But Nothing Has changed. She is still gone, And no God I could ever Pray to Could or Would Be able to Fix that- There is no Band-aid Big enough, No shock Strong enough To bring her Smile Back to me- All I have left is Stolen time, Framed and Frozen, A gravestone And a faulty Memory…. Maybe It would be Best To just Forget, But even now I look for you When I hear Your name, Your seat goes Cold Next to me Like an Unspoken Shrine Only a fool Would touch And Desecrate, And when it is Completely Quiet, At night, When we used to Skype I still hear your Laugh Like an Echo Mocking me, A melody I will Never Hear again…. I remember Exactly How I found you That morning, The sirens Coming alive At 3 am When Everyone Should've been gone To bed, And the Smell Of the sterile Hospital Just the same As the one I'm in- Lately, I've been Recording All the Words I should have Said Earlier But didn't, All the missed Opportunities…. But I'm one day Too late, And today I will be Searching In vain For bits of you At the bottom Of bottles And stop signs Where the Sidewalk Ends Until Someone drags me Away... And stops me From following you Down into the Gutter With the rain.