Qua Train

He climbed aboard that dieseling train,
on a fast track clickety clack,
to nowhere as a matter of fact.
“Ain’t hooked, I’m cool” was his refrain.

“Quit any time , I don’t need that fix,
I ain’t one of those loser pricks.
Don’t worry, got it all together,
I’m feeling light as a feather.

He only experimented with substance,
with the maker of the same,
until it became sustenance,
while aboard that train.

He climbed aboard that dieseling train,
on a fast track clickety clack,
to nowhere as a matter of fact.
“Ain’t hooked, I’m cool”, was his refrain.

He was cool. He wasn’t any fool.
It was entertainment, only a game,
Never on the job that was the rule,
He was the conductor on his train. 

It chugged and roared, screaming, screeching through his veins,
Until…. it’s sudden abstinence riddled his addled brain,
And revealed his total dependence,
…Qua the substance train.

“Quit any time, I don’t need that fix,
I ain’t one of those loser pricks,
Don’t worry got it all together,
I’m feeling light as a feather.”




Webster:
Qua - in the capacity or character of: in so far as:  as.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011



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Date: 6/26/2011 4:12:00 PM
Too true for too many. You never see it coming until one day reality sets in, usually too late. Vince
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Date: 6/24/2011 9:42:00 PM
On facebook, in the "Haiku" group, there is an Haiku expert by the name of Michael, who has brought his expertise in that form of art. Thus far, my haikus were completely wrongly written. That was quite an eye opener. Well, keep on writing, I sure will stop by to read them. Best wishes, Caroline.
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Date: 6/24/2011 9:38:00 PM
Thank you for your comment, Robert! Yeah, I did use one rhyme scheme, as that is what I believe a quatrain should be like. I guess that is the technique part, I think the art part is more important anyway, and yours did evoke quite well what you wanted to convey. Hope you don't mind my honest reviews. I wish more people would do that on my poetry, because it would improve in this art of writing better.
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Date: 6/23/2011 10:25:00 AM
Very creative, Robert! Sounds like lyrics to a song. I enjoyed it. As far as the quatrain form, your rhyme scheme is supposed to be the same. you can either have it as, a-a-b-b or a-b-a-b I believe. Mostly you've used the second one. To keep it even in the 1st stanza, you could write,"On a fast track clickety clack/aboard that dieseling train.... for ex. I actually find your title interesting! Thanks for sharing. Love, Caroline.
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Date: 6/20/2011 11:43:00 AM
Very clever write. Smooth and lyrical. Food for thought in the words, too. Regards, Robert H.
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Date: 6/19/2011 3:34:00 AM
Whew!! Poetry at its poetic best, Robert. Your clever title to go with the form and content alone warrants a 7. This piece is mind-blowing (pun fully intended). :))
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Date: 6/18/2011 5:28:00 PM
A very powerful piece here Robert. Well written, great flow and repetition. Good use of onomatopoeia! Norma :)
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Date: 6/18/2011 12:35:00 PM
a gung-ho poetic ride, robert.. your lines spill with astounding action! :) huggs, nette
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Date: 6/18/2011 12:10:00 PM
I very much enjoyed reading this,, like the way it flowed ,,have a great weekend ;} Debbie
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Date: 6/18/2011 9:32:00 AM
Terrific piece Robert, so so many have caught that train and taken on many a journey. Enjoyable write, have a lovely weekend :)
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Date: 6/18/2011 8:40:00 AM
It's too bad that it is usually much to late when a user realizes that he is not in control. Great write Robert and I am glad I could brighten your day with a little tongue in cheek humor. Love, Joyce
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