Pushing Too Hard

June’s warm sun had made the lake inviting
“Let’s swim across,” I said without a care
“But it looks quite far to the other side,”
He replied meekly; I issued a dare

For five-hundred yards he followed behind
Splashing, perhaps gasping, I could not tell
That swimming was not my fiancé’s forte
But when he cried, “Help,” I knew all too well

“I’m not gonna make it,” he said with resolve
“Don’t say that, just lie on your back and float!”
A trained lifeguard, I pull him toward shore
He was tall but not too heavy to tote

Just thirty feet left when underwater weeds
Reached up and touched him like snakes below
He struggled, then sank in murky water
I dove, could not find him.  Where did he go?

Other swimmers came quickly, offered aid
At least a dozen were searching the lake
A phone call was made, help was on the way
Precious minutes passed, I started to shake

Beachgoers organized a rescue effort
It took a human chain to find my man
But far too much time had passed since he sank
Soon nightmares relived the day I lost Dan

I shouldered the burden and blamed myself
For not listening when he expressed concern
The lake was too wide, his skills too meager
It took much therapy to come to terms

And learn from this very costly mistake
That others know their limits better than I
His parents sought answers; what could I say?
Now in his memory I exhale a sigh

But never since have I encouraged friends
To join my pursuits that are out of their reach
I offer prayers nightly, shed some tears too
And each June Third I place a cross on the beach



True story for Laura's "Recovery from Life" challenge.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Guzzi Avatar
April 8, 2010 at 4:46 PM
so very very sad...I'm glad you have come to terms with the loss BIG HUGS! I broke my leg letting a teacher bully me into doing something I new I couldn't do...it was a valuable lesson to me...not to backdown...no one knows you better than yourself...
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
April 1, 2010 at 2:07 PM
Ooh, sad...June third let's try to meet at a beach. I want to be there with you when you place that cross. What do you think? Somewhere along the coast...halfway! This is a very moving story. Good luck in the contest, Carolyn. Love, Dane
Sweetheart Avatar
March 31, 2010 at 4:03 PM
Good luck in the contest with this rousing true tale of sadness.. but u must not blame yourself dear friend.. it was his time to leave and God has His ways and we question not but only continue on.. u tried but did not fail as u remember his memory every year .. take comfort in that.. and read my Metamorphosis poem for encouragement.. luv. ..Linda-Marie
Peranteau Avatar
March 31, 2010 at 2:08 PM
I had to stop at this poem first Carolyn, I just had that deep heartfelt feeling that this was going to be...deep. Terrific poem Carolyn, my heart goes out to you dear. james
Knop Avatar
March 31, 2010 at 6:24 AM
What a sad story, Carolyn! I only hope that this did not happened to you or did it? But if it happened to you, you cannot be blamed as this tragedy was beyond your capacity. Many decades ago I nearly drowned in quicksand in the Bolivian jungle and could only rescue myself by pulling me out with the help of a strong branch as I was only by myself...Well written for the callenge! Thank you for your comments and have a happy Easter! Love, Gert
Goff Avatar
March 31, 2010 at 4:57 AM
ouch....took the wind out of me.....I think we all have regrets that will forever need His Mercy, that's life....I know I do...fine write, Carolyn, and thanks for your comments, jim
Taylor Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 9:08 PM
Very sad. Tragic story. Thanks for your comments on my cruise poem. Thet give yo ample time at ports for sightseeing. For instance on our next cruise we have 8 hours at Haiti, 6 hours at Jamaica, and 12 hours at Cozumel, Mexico. Thats our three stops. Just to give you an idea. Most stops are at least 6 hours.
Henderson Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 7:56 PM
Carolyn, was this your personal tragedy or one you know really happened? This was terrible to go through. I have never come close to anything like that in my 74 years. Yes, this actually happened to me. It was about 1970. And the men did not hurt the boy, it was the bear. He had 16 punctures in his back, some an inch deep and about 4 inches between the tusks. It was a huge bear. It was shot the next day by rangers. Thanks for the heads up on you know who. Charles
Bono Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 3:05 PM
Just stopping by to wish you a Happy Easter.
Austin Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 2:29 PM
This is tragic, Carolyn. HOw does one recover from one of life's tragic events? I've never really had the need. Good write. Love, daver
Fraser Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 12:31 PM
Carolyn, knowing your past, and what's just happened to my son's friend. > it brought tears to my eyes. Losing a special loved one, or even a close friend > tragedies in life, some of us are unfortunate to be faced with. If only my arms were long enough to reach out across the solemn blue, and hug a lady > who to me is so true >> James,xx
Fisher Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 12:16 PM
Carolyn - thanks for your comments today they are most appreciated - would send number if I could figure how to send a soup mail - I don't seem to be able to send one - just recieve. Any ideas? Janette
Dietrich Avatar
March 30, 2010 at 1:09 AM
this is really sad, tragic, Carolyn, I think it must be the most horrific tale in the contest! And you told it very well. Best of luck in that contest. LUv,Andrea
La France Avatar
March 29, 2010 at 6:35 PM
wow.. what a sad story.. a sad memory... and you wrote it so very well... best of luck in the contest.. now for my contest, In Search of the Human Mind, your assignment will be .. Anticipation... love constance
Haick Avatar
March 29, 2010 at 6:24 PM
My dear Carolyn, My heart goes out to yours..as you recall this terrible memory...I'm sure you're now aware that this wasn't your fault.... An excellent poem for the contest! It's a definite winner, I'm sure. Thanks for your always kind comments.You're a kindhearted, real lady..Peace and love, Audrey
Richards Avatar
March 29, 2010 at 6:02 PM
Oh dear, Carolyn...what a terrible time it must have been, and even after time has passed, a memory such as this is heartbreaking. A heartwrenching poem. my deep sorrow for you. Love, Carrie
Johnson Avatar
March 29, 2010 at 5:37 PM
This is a heartbreaker. I hope it is imaginary. Should be the winner. Thank you for your comments on my "Lost Loves". It is true. She was just seventeen and he no older but he never forgot. I had also lost my young husband when we met. Love, Joyce
Muzzey Avatar
March 29, 2010 at 5:20 PM
A beautiful and heartfelt write. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know there are times when we can't see around the bend but when we do, it is sometimes too late. I wish you the best and good luck in the contest. Caryl
Kendrick Avatar
March 29, 2010 at 5:13 PM
Good write!! Sounds like life experience even if it is not..If it is I am sorry for your loss of long ago that plagues you even today..Keep the creative pen flowing. Sara
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