Prick

Once I prick my index, all is gone, the love, the hope, the past, all of it. Cause without forgetting you, I create this hope- this drastic thought- that maybe one day you'll want me back- that maybe you long for me and miss me- that really you can't live without me. And then reality hits me in the forehead, shoots my temple softly, and I wake up. I realize we were and never will be I realize all that we once had was merely an image- an image of those in love- hand in hand on the beach, the cliche couple, talking for hours at end. And I realize now, that you're far better off without me, without my needing heart, complicated mind that rapidly changes- and my situations I boil up so they become malfunctioning. I realize that everything I created you never wanted you never will. So I don't know why I cling to your pure soul. I don't know why I clench the unkind past- one of not yours- but my mistakes. I don't know why I thought I forgot you- when it was merely a distraction. And right when you come back into my life- I can't deny you. I can't say no. cause when you had something so good, something that should have been cherished- and you risk to lose it- game over. And the things I wish I knew now, have no impact on the past- no influence on the future. But the things I know now, the things that you helped me learn is to never let go, never give up and love deeply without that fear- that one that throws you curve balls that doubt that eats you up- when your wondering where he is- when he's simply buying you flowers. So what I know now, what you taught, was really needed to be taught because now, though I lost you, I know what to hold on to when it comes, and never let it go. So once I prick my finger, you're forgotten, a blink in history. It's probably for the best, it's probably supposed to be the truth.