Home » Poems » Sandra Adams » Pretending Isn'T Always Easy

Pretending Isn'T Always Easy

she calls
long pause
hesitation
before 
she speaks

the silence
breaks
her voice
quakes
i taste
her tears
feel
her fears

on this end
of the line
her hope
hangs
on my words
scattered
jumbled
little lies
pretending
not to worry
i scurry
around
idle chatter
carefully
rethinking
my next line
trying to feed her
the reassurance
she seeks

i feel failure
in the allure
of tears
as they fall
when she ends
this call

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John Hamilton

Date: 11/21/2019 3:53:00 PM

Very touching write Sandy, it is difficult to continue to be positive when the end result is pretty obvious to all. Being a friend to talk to is important for those whose health is failing, just knowing you care helps even if only temporarily!

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/21/2019 6:45:00 PM

Thank you John...she's a good friend...i know the odds are slightly in her favor but as they think it could have spread it would lessen the odds, that surgery was today...she texted me, she will be calling me probably in a day or two...meanwhile i keep praying hoping for better news...i have one friend with stage 3 cancer still hanging in who was a great poet and collaborator with me for many years... she is like a sister...i lost my own mom to cancer so i struggle with staying strong...but when with them i pretend to be... hugs

Juliet Ligon

Date: 11/18/2019 11:55:00 PM

Must be hard pretending and trying to stay strong enough for you both. Prayers & sympathies.

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/21/2019 6:42:00 PM

it is very hard.... thank you my friend... hugs

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 11/18/2019 12:52:00 PM

It is hard pretending Sandra especially if you have insight into what is to be inevitable . I see below it is a close friend you are referring to - I'm so sorry, it is truly very hard to pretend, but I agree, you had to, I did the same with my Dad who died at 64 with bronchial cancer, I kept telling him Dad, everything is going to be fine, but I knew! A beautiful but very sad write my friend. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/18/2019 4:19:00 PM

Sorry you lost your dad to cancer, i lost my mom when she was 55 to a rare soft tissue cancer, my dad won his battle with it...i have 2 good friends battling cancer, one was more advanced then the other, one lung, one breast...i try and be positive because some win the battle but i have to try not and speak about my mother, or others that lost.... hugs to you and thank you for your kind in depth comment! :)

Silent One

Date: 11/18/2019 12:46:00 PM

oh a difficult phone call tying to be strong ,when you inside you are falling apart... an emotive piece...

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/18/2019 4:17:00 PM

Thank you so much my friend...try to be strong and tiptoe around the subject.... hugs :)

Chris Green

Date: 11/18/2019 7:48:00 AM

Do we ever know the right thing to say to comfort someone who is facing something so devastating and formidable? We try, we utter I can't even imagine what you are going through and we very well may be right. The easy course is to say, everything will be ok, but will it. Really well written my friend. I could feel this.

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/18/2019 9:34:00 AM

Thank you so much my friend...i could tell when she called by the silence and the broken thoughts what was going through her mind....i tried my best to soothe her, what else can one do?... hugs :)

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 11/18/2019 4:09:00 AM

- The reality is sometimes too difficult to face, Sandra - A moving poem, well written :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/18/2019 9:32:00 AM

so very true my friend, as you know, when you have knowledge it is harder to pretend you don't know what the end result could be..... hugs

Pashang Salehi

Date: 11/17/2019 10:54:00 PM

Very emotional, nicely done.

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/18/2019 9:25:00 AM

Thank you so much Pashang :)

Bobby May

Date: 11/17/2019 10:01:00 PM

I had cancer myself so I understand those feelings, I was lucky but some are not yet it still lingers in my mind. Once you are faced with death those thoughts never go away. So well written my sweet friend!! Just keep being her friend!

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/18/2019 9:24:00 AM

sorry about your battle with it but glad you beat it, my father beat his and lived another 20 years, my mother lost her battle at 55...so i have to pretend i don't know what the outcome can because she is calling me to lift her mood not bring her lower... thank you Bobby...she is a close friend, she's not being pushed away.... hugs

Gershon Wolf

Date: 11/17/2019 5:51:00 PM

You hooked me with that second stanza, which just rolls off the tongue... These are, indeed, hard calls to navigate. Sigh. ~ Gershon

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/17/2019 6:18:00 PM

thank you....i seem to be THAT friend that people seek comfort from...i try but sometimes it's hard to convince someone that it will all work out when you really don't know that it will...but if the little white lies make them smile, even for a moment, i guess it's worth it... hugs

Matthew Anish

Date: 11/17/2019 4:49:00 PM

Sounds like you were trying to comfort a close friend - which is a good thing to do. Nice write! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/17/2019 5:08:00 PM

i was, sometimes it's hard to pretend to know their fate... thank you for your visit and kind comment :)

Vijay Pandit

Date: 11/17/2019 3:42:00 PM

WOW! This is awesome my friend--I felt the emotions that we all must advance from time to time--to reassure someone when we know we really can't help them. And that hurts so much--a failure, as you call it. Great work, Sandy.

Sandra Adams
Date: 11/17/2019 3:47:00 PM

Thank you so much my friend....my friend has cancer, she calls, time is dragging for her, i try and talk about everything but to keep her mind off of the main topic of her call...i don't know how to be reassuring when i know what it can do to people but i need to pick her up...i can tell when she ends the call she isn't feeling any better than when she called, even if i made her laugh a little and forget a bit... hugs ...have a great evening Vijay!