Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Position Impossible Ii - Collaboration With Tom Cunningham - Bawdy Warning

Position Impossible Ii - Collaboration With Tom Cunningham - Bawdy Warning

Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred, Let’s attempt the starfish in bed, Old Ethel insisted, Till Fred’s back got twisted, They best stick to sleeping instead! Original poem by Jan Allison Fred couldn't stand and was writhing in pain Ethel was mad and looked on with disdain So he took a blue pill Then went in for the kill And now performs like a stallion again... But the blue pills power started to wane As Ethel begged him to do it again But things came to a stop Poor Fred started to flop So they gave up and cracked open champagne... Then Ethel got hold of a book Fred fainted when he had a look Twas the 'calmer suture' Some poses may suit her But Fred said it made him feel crook Aunt Ethel said Freddie my dear You truly have nothing to fear Cos tonight’s the night Much to my delight We’re swinging from the chandelier! Old Fred said I don’t understand Your desire’s got right out of hand If you want so much sex Go next door and see Rex He’s the randiest guy in the land Aunt Ethel said you’re being silly At aged ninety I’m no young filly I still want to have sex With you and not Rex Cos Rexie’s got a tiny Willy! The champers made Ethel quite woozy Fred’s shattered so he had a snoozey They were awoken at four T'was Rex from next door No thank you said Ethel I'm no floozy... Collaboration with Tom Cunningham 06/02/21

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Heidi Sands

Date: 6/5/2021 4:34:00 AM

Congratulations to the both of you. These are funny lol. :)

Jack Horne

Date: 6/4/2021 1:21:00 PM

LOL, great work, you two - I've just written about the calmer suture too, LOL

Suzanne Delaney

Date: 6/4/2021 9:13:00 AM

HA HA Jan: I had to blow on my screen to cool it down. LOL. You guys are having too much fun. Hugz, SuZ

Indiana Shaw

Date: 6/3/2021 4:26:00 PM

Calmer Suture, ha ha ha, nothing calm there . . . ; )

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 6/3/2021 4:12:00 PM

Rex said I know you are no floozy - But last week when we had a boozy - We both had a ball - Seven times in all - And you said any day bar Sunday… Belle

Rico Leffanta

Date: 6/3/2021 11:55:00 AM

Well done! Some very witty lines and rhymes! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 12:20:00 PM

There is more to be added lol:-) hugs jan xx

Kenneth Cheney

Date: 6/3/2021 6:31:00 AM

Hilarious. Great limerick.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 8:40:00 AM

Thanks Kenneth it was such fun to write with Tom:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 6/3/2021 5:27:00 AM

Awesome write! Is this Fred and Ethel Mertz. LOL

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 8:40:00 AM

no lol i just chose names of 2 elderly people I wasn't aware of the I love Lucy connection as it isn't a series I am familiar with:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 6/3/2021 5:11:00 AM

Awesome job you two! Thanks for the smiles and laughs.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 5:17:00 AM

I think there will be more to come from fred and Ethel.. watch this space lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood

Date: 6/3/2021 1:37:00 AM

I read somewhere online that Poetry Soup was becoming more hi-brow... that’s the trouble with the internet... its full of lies... damned lies! Ha ha it’s a limerick pandemic: hope there’s no vaccine. Terry

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 2:08:00 AM

ha ha ha yes Limierickitis is infectious and thankfully there is no known cure:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 6/2/2021 10:47:00 PM

Hello Jan & Tom … a dangerous pair of writers when you get together. Naturally I got a good giggle out of your collaboration - thank you both - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 2:07:00 AM

thanks Lindsay it was such fun and I am so grateful to Tom for suggesting it, been a tough couple of days for me so i needed that boost of giggles:-) hugs jan xx

L Milton Hankins

Date: 6/2/2021 9:11:00 PM

Oh, wow, what a fantastic collaboration. The story is hilarious, the rhymes are delightful, and it's a bundle of laughs from the beginning to the end!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 2:06:00 AM

Thanks Milton, we had a ball writing this lol:-) hugs Jan

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 6/2/2021 7:36:00 PM

A fantastic collaboration Jan and Tom… This might come over as rather silly - How did she know Rex had a small willy - Had Ethel played around - While Fred was out of town - Was the condition of the room chilly?… Belle

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 2:05:00 AM

ah ha Belle that's exactly what we wanted you to think just how did she know... but i think calling him Rexie means they have have been bedroom buddies in the past lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Susan Ashley

Date: 6/2/2021 6:32:00 PM

Dear Jan and Tom, your collaboration is a vivid silly fantastic delight! Had me giggling all the way through. Such bawdy fun! Wonderful collaborating from two of the best limerick masters on PS. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2021 2:04:00 AM

Thanks Susan, I am so delighted Tom suggested it, he has become a great limerick writer indeed:-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh

Date: 6/2/2021 4:30:00 PM

What can I say Jan, keep it fresh, keep it young, Ethel and Fred are no prudes, and neither are their creators, collaboration and experimentation and oh yeah medication are fine recipes for a healthy relationship, loved the wit and banter, cheers David

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2021 4:51:00 PM

Thanks David I've not been around much the last few days with family things to deal with, am so glad Tom suggested we extend my original poem :-) hugs Jan xx