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Please Take Me Back

I'm doing all the cookin' and cleanin' all the floors.
The laundry still needs folding cause' I'm shoppin' at the stores.
I earn a decent salary and your cat won't let me be.
And worst of all... the local kids are making fun of me.
So give a little help and stop adding to my strife.
Or this Man is going to leave you and find another wife.
So if you're set on sittin' then I'm done with all these chores.
I say goodbye and au revoir, this puppy's out the door.

Knock. Knock
For the love of God! I'm sorry. My head is out of whack.
I'll do anything you ask, just forgive and take me back.
I'm dumber than a pole cat and as stupid as a hen.
I haven't made a good decision since I remember when.
So forgive my lack of candor but I think we're all agreed.
Given your lack of standards I'm all the man you need.

I've cleaned your car, filled the gas and turtle waxed the wheels.
Then charged your phone, paid the bills and made another meal.
The grass is cut, the hedge is trimmed and I've mended all my socks.
I washed the walls, shampooed the rug and cleaned the litter box.
I've done your nails, hemmed a skirt and pumiced both your heels.
Enough already, my wits are gone, I'm not sure what's your deal.
So I'm at my end, you drive me nuts and I'm tired of this load.
So I say goodbye, auf wiedersehen, it's time I hit the road.

Knock. Knock
For the love of God! I'm sorry. My head is out of whack.
I'll do anything you ask, just forgive and take me back.
I'm dumber than a pole cat and as stupid as a hen.
I haven't made a good decision since I remember when.
So forgive my lack of candor but I think we're all agreed.
Given your lack of standards I'm all the Man you need.

So twice a month I pack my bags and head towards the light.
But she takes me back, no questions asked, it somehow feels right.
So let the children point and laugh, I'm someone she can count on.
So excuse me now, she needs lady things and I think I have a coupon

                                      The End

*For those who might be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day.

Copyright © David Mchattie | Year Posted 2019

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Douglas Pederson Date: 4/19/2019 3:03:00 PM how do I stop the gut from aching from your funny poems? Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/20/2019 11:33:00 PM Tums are good. Unfortunately with my stomach, I eat them like candy. Have a great day my friend.

Caren Krutsinger Date: 4/19/2019 3:06:00 AM The ending line is so funny, it makes this insane write even funnier, which I did not think was going to be possible, my friend! Happy Good Friday and Easter, David. Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/19/2019 2:59:00 PM Happy Easter to you to. We're off to see my Son and the grandchildren.

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 4/18/2019 10:35:00 AM I think your poems are hysterically funny - keep on writing David. Poetry hugs, Jennifer. Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/19/2019 2:59:00 PM I hope I have a few funny poems in me. Have a great day.

Lindsay Laurie Date: 4/16/2019 11:43:00 PM G'day David … even though written in a light hearted and witty way, the undertones tell so much truth about lives of many couples - really enjoyed - Lindsay Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/19/2019 2:58:00 PM The dance of love is a complicated thing. Have a great day.

Abhishek Suresh Date: 4/16/2019 6:48:00 AM Hidden deep within the lighter tone is a very significant meaning. Wonderful poem. Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/16/2019 5:01:00 PM I may need a Psychologist to help me figure this one out. Thanks for your visit. Have a great day.

Gershon Wolf Date: 4/15/2019 5:28:00 PM David, by the authority that was never (and would never be) vested in me, without any claim to the judgment necessary to do this: I now crown you 'The Troubadour of Poetry Soup!' Wear your crown well, my friend... Yet another thoroughly enjoyable romp! Best wishes, Gershon Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/15/2019 5:58:00 PM I will where the crown with all the false humility I can muster. Thanks Gershon.

James Horn Date: 4/15/2019 4:29:00 PM Poor Norte Dame. The whole world's loss and much sadness to gain. Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/15/2019 4:48:00 PM I can't believe it. The history, the art, gone. I'm stunned.

Jeff Connelly Date: 4/14/2019 10:56:00 PM Yet another wonderful read David. At the beginning I thought right off you were writing from a man's perspective. A thing some of the ladies should keep in mind jajaja Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/15/2019 1:27:00 PM Some people put up with a lot of crap from someone they love. Besides no one is perfect. I had a friend who did everything. His wife was so fragile, and almost child like, he saw nothing wrong with their relationship, She was a wonderful person. Have a great day my friend.

Darlene De Beaulieu Date: 4/14/2019 5:19:00 PM Hello David Hattie,wow! This poem is different. Does this woman do anything? That is too much on you. Have a nice evening my friend. Login to Reply Darlene De Beaulieu Date: 4/16/2019 5:43:00 PM You make a good point. have a nice evening my friend. David Mchattie Date: 4/15/2019 1:23:00 PM There are a lot of women who go through such an experience, so why shouldn't the odd man do the same. Besides, the heart wants what the heart wants. Have a great day.

Constance La France Date: 4/14/2019 12:06:00 PM David, this is delightful and really made me laugh, you have a great sense of humor. I think you are an amazing story teller and writer, keep up the excellent writing ~ Login to Reply David Mchattie Date: 4/14/2019 2:19:00 PM Breaking up is hard to do. Have a great day.