Peed Off
Since she passed on I now live on my own
In a new town not just a new street
No more must I listen to that woman moan
But she’s haunting me through the loo seat
In view of her ‘training’ I lift up the seat
But then leave it up out of spite
And in this new house where I now have no spouse
It should stay like that though the night
But it gets me down and gives me a frown
Whenever I go for a pee
For when I go back in that loo seat is down
And it sure wasn’t put down by me
In darkness or light I will leave the seat raised
Yet next time I go take a leak
It’s down and I wish I could say I’m unfazed
But no floorboard ever did creak
I did ask the fella who lived here before
He gasped an incredulous groan
His first wife had lived by the adage
Of killing two birds with one stone
He too had once married a girl who seemed sweet
But then he could do nothing right
And if he should leave up the loo seat
She’d slam it down hard in the night
But buying his house was as odd as can be
You might think the chances are slim
My wife, bless her soul, who was married to me
Before that… was married to him
18 July 2022
Contest: One In Five 2
Theme: 5 - A Ghost Story
Sponsor: Joseph May
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