Over Thinking and Over Sharing

What are the feelings that I feel Just that light is cast and I am real I lingered for so long in the shade Believing that was a choice I made Always afraid I have hidden intent Hidden from myself even what was meant Do I let free an unfiltered me Deal with resulting flock and flee I appreciate people, just like art Are received differently from heart to heart Just as streams of people may pass by Some may stop and form reply Of impact that you've had on them Speak of value, not condemn I fear all my eccentric traits Drag me down like leaden weights But here I finally can explore Perhaps I'm just poetic so can act out more No more reining myself in Embracing who I am, or at least begin To recognise I'm a bit strange But does perfect really engage Usually I tell myself to just stay quiet Not share my weirdo mindscape riot It's not that my feedback is even bad But I ruminate afterwards then feel sad I'm not saying what normal people say I rip up and throw convention away What even is all this about Am I a narcissist or just full of self doubt I can't be full time in my sensible shoes But is the alternative being blistered and bruised I just know I can't bore myself to death My epitaph reading I was thoroughly nice til my last breath I want to stop analysing after I speak Stop deciding I've been a total freak It's exhausting always going through that Perhaps that's where the logic for seeking validation is at "Am I ok? Was it ok what I said just then? Do you like me? Can I come back again?" I need to shed the apologetic game Constantly worrying, feeling shame Somehow arrive with myself in tow Let people like me or choose to go I adore authenticity as a personality factor Embracing my own is what I'm after I'm getting lazier with these rhymes It's another defence, I purposely deter at times Announcing here's a theoretic negative review... I'm just too much, don't save me, save you But I'm considering this whole new leaf (Although I've broken rule 1, which was keep it brief) I might be a combo of the good/annoying in equal measure But being a mixture is what in others I treasure Having an edge to make a spark Keeping myself out of the dark