Out of Thin Air

I have this talent - I can create an ex-boyfriend out of thin air. **snapping fingers**

Lisa and I had just gotten back to school from Thanksgiving break and my soon to be ex-study-partner arrives all passively-angry - with that withering, unmistakable, male-balance of harshness and ambivalence. I don’t even know what triggered his moral panic.

I was bewildered at first. “We aren't dating,” I said, “we're study-partners.” We’d agreed early on and I saw the relationship as defined - with a period. He, apparently, saw it as more of an ellipsis…

Then, we kissed one night. We were happy because we’d slammed the midterms. I thought of It as a “champagne kiss” moment of celebration - but it was a mistake that seemed to break some spell between us.

After that, I could never utter the “yes” he wanted and our friendship momentum stalled. You could say that I’ve been slowly contracting around him to ordinariness - like an infatuation balloon deflating into disappointment.

Still, I feel this stupid, hurtful sense of loss. Why am I so bad with guys?? Perhaps I should take the scientific approach and conduct exit-interviews.

I’d LIKE to have a boyfriend, sometimes, but all I can see are negative consequences - and who has the TIME? Most nights, when my homework is finished, there’s only a few hours left over for sleep. 

He left me in a lurch - but I went through my class list and managed to study-group-up before finals (thank God).
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Conn Avatar
February 2, 2024 at 1:59 AM
I can send you the perfect t-shirt, with 5 syllables only.
Vionet Avatar
February 2, 2024 at 2:51 AM
That's ok, this was some time ago - what does it say though?
Leffanta Avatar
December 27, 2021 at 10:23 AM
Plenty of time for love and sex after you graduate . . . . remember you need to drink the booze before you can get drunk . . . ..
Vionet Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 12:43 PM
so true
Rodrigues Avatar
December 27, 2021 at 6:37 AM
Anais, I’m sure there’s a part that wants the touch of a boyfriend but you want to make the best of your current learning and you are not wanting nor ready for the commitment. (wow…i sound like Ann Landers (old reference to a newspaper columnist)) ;) Love the first line and enjoyed the read!
Rodrigues Avatar
December 27, 2021 at 8:44 AM
My granddaughter is second year college and she’s having fun too, a boyfriend not her first goal :)
Vionet Avatar
December 27, 2021 at 7:20 AM
Yeah, studies come first - and I AM having fun - just not BF fun. Happy New Year - thanks for commenting.
Gondolf Avatar
December 27, 2021 at 5:09 AM
From a guy's point of view, a kiss on the lips ALWAYS means more than just congratulations unless you've been friends for a long, long time. He will see it as so much more and expect the relationship to move to the next level. Just my thoughts from many years of experience. John
Vionet Avatar
December 27, 2021 at 7:22 AM
Yeah, I think you’re right. Maybe I can find a t-shirt with “caution: No next level” on it. HA! Happy New Year John.
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