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‘You’ve had one too many’
Declared old Paddy’s wife
She always spoiled his evenings 
With her ‘trouble’ and her ‘strife’

‘I’m absolutely sober’ 
He replied with much aplomb
‘I’ve only had a couple
And I’m drinking beer, not rum’

‘I don’t care what you’re drinking,
You don’t know when to stop
I rue the day I married you
You useless, boozy sop’

‘Oh, hold your blather, Missus
Give that whinging voice a rest
The day you married me 
I’ll have you know you got the best’

‘Got the best? Well I’ll be buggered
You really are a pain
I wish that you’d get off yer ass
And fix that broken windowpane’

Now at this Paddy got real pissed
And sat up in his chair
‘Don’t you talk to me of work!’
He said with wild-eyed glare

‘I’ve worked myself to death for you
But you only whinge and moan
I swear I’ll clobber you real good
If you keep on with that tone’

But she was unrepentant
And continued with her rant
On and on she chided him
With never ending cant

The last was one too many 
For this much maligned hubby
So he lurched across the kitchen
And he hit her with his stubby!

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