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Paul Callus - Premium Member

Old and Lonely

through venetian blinds
slanting beams of light peep in
where she sits alone
reminiscing in silence 
hoping that the bell would ring

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25th March, 2015
Contest: Tanka 3
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich

Copyright © Paul Callus | Year Posted 2015

lonelinessoldtanka

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May 19, 2015 at 1:15 PM

Your words paint the scene with descriptive words that bring the essence of your experience into our conscious mind and we see what you see and feel what you feel. Emile.

May 19, 2015 at 4:00 PM

I am pleased that we're on the same wavelength, Emile. Thank you for another lovely visit. // paul

April 17, 2015 at 3:57 PM

Liked it now get in my Captcha contest ..Thanks Judy

April 28, 2015 at 3:00 PM

Must say with such few words that you have created, the imagination is allowed to run wild and it's even haunting.

April 28, 2015 at 2:24 PM

Hi Judy! Thank you for stopping by. Sorry, missed your Captcha contest:( but hopefully will be back on Soup for your next contest:) All the best. // paul

April 1, 2015 at 11:19 AM

This touches me deeper than any words. I hate how some of the elderly are tossed aside and neglected.

April 1, 2015 at 12:11 PM

I am pleased with your repeated visits today, Armand! Knowing how much time you dedicate to your mother, I am sure that you can understand well what I tried to convey with these few lines. Thank you. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

March 30, 2015 at 6:05 PM

oh, Paul. I see this was your entry for me. I really did like what it was saying. Had I been a bit more generous with my last winner's list, this for sure would have been on it.

March 31, 2015 at 1:11 PM

No problem, Andrea; you are a fair judge:) Glad that you like it. My main aim was to bring awareness to elders who are in such situations, and I think that it has been reached. All the best:) // paul

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

March 29, 2015 at 5:54 AM

shadows of sadness and longing is spelled on your tanka.. :)! Blessed Sunday! ..olive eloisa

March 29, 2015 at 7:13 AM

Thank you!! Yes, old age brings sadness to those who are left on their own, even forgotten by own family. A blessed Sunday to you too:) Hugs // paul

March 28, 2015 at 7:31 AM

such a powerful, deep write here, Paul - sure to be a big winner

March 28, 2015 at 11:30 AM

Glad that you found this to your liking, Jack! Thank you for the faith you show in it! All the best. // paul

Constance La France

March 28, 2015 at 7:26 AM

Paul, you have painted a picture with words, so deep and emotional, I love it, a perfect 7 rating and thanks for visiting my poem, springtime . . .

March 28, 2015 at 11:32 AM

Thank you Constance. Glad you like this short poem, and I appreciate the high rating. Have a nice weekend. // paul

March 28, 2015 at 3:43 AM

Desperate loneliness in five lines. Great work, Paul. Good luck.Regards, Viv

March 28, 2015 at 11:28 AM

Pleased that you enjoyed this write, Viv; thanks for stopping by. // paul

March 27, 2015 at 12:36 PM

Paul, I love your poem is so meaningful. A seven and good luck in the contest a winner for sure.

March 27, 2015 at 3:26 PM

Thank you Eve, for stopping by with nice wishes and a top rating. Hope you enjoy a lovely weekend. // paul

Anne-Lise Andresen

March 27, 2015 at 8:33 AM

- Paul, whatever forms you write in .... it is always beautiful from you - Good luck in the contest - I wish you a great and relaxed weekend :) - hugs and love // Anne-Lise :)

March 27, 2015 at 3:24 PM

Wow! You flatter me, Anne Lise! But I'll be honest and admit that I enjoy flattery:) Thank you for the lovely comments. May you have a great weekend, too. Hugs /x/ paul

March 26, 2015 at 10:42 AM

It happens...it is real...there lies the sad truth for the elderly. Hence, in our country, we have a culture of deep-seated respect for them. Rarely does it happen when family members would resort to home for the aged. They live with us, till it's their time. Thank you for sharing this, Paul. Kim :)

March 26, 2015 at 3:01 PM

Even here in Malta we have the same culture as yours, but now many homes for the elderly are cropping up, and people are gladly making use of them. Customs change at a fast pace. All the best. // paul

Barbara Gorelick

March 26, 2015 at 3:25 AM

"will ring"?.. not sure. I like this Paul...I think this is what shes looking for. GL! BG

March 26, 2015 at 3:04 PM

Hi Barbara! This problem for the elderly arises mostly in big countries where distance usually is a deterrent. In small countries, such as Malta, it is less acute. Take care. // paul

March 25, 2015 at 11:46 PM

Beautifully sad and an excellent Tanka my very dear friend, Paul. I can relate here. Thank you so much for sharing! My belated thanks as well for your very precious time to visit my page, your lovely comments and kind words about my love. Your kind words were so uplifting that they contained my only hope and wish for my lovelife. More blessings to you! Pls. forgive me for a very delayed visit and reply. love lots and biggest hugs, Leonora

March 26, 2015 at 12:55 PM

Hi Leonora! Thank you for a very lovely visit and for finding my comments uplifting. I understand that you live a busy life and you have other priorities that need paying attention to. Keep well and be happy! Hugs /x/ paul

March 25, 2015 at 6:46 PM

Sad powerful write. All the best in the contest

March 26, 2015 at 3:32 PM

Yes, Njeri...old and lonely is not something to look forward to. Thank you for a lovely visit. // paul

March 25, 2015 at 5:43 PM

oh, so sad, paul! excellent, though...

March 26, 2015 at 3:35 PM

Thank you for stopping by, Ilene. Love the 'excellent' comment:) // paul

Eileen Manassian

March 25, 2015 at 5:00 PM

:( this is a sad one. I can relate. Hugs

March 26, 2015 at 1:26 PM

Hi Eileen! Unfortunately these situations do occur, and they are not always preventable. That's life:( Hugs ... paul

March 25, 2015 at 4:12 PM

Such long, lonely hours for our dear seniors. I felt that I was in the room. Strong imagery, Paul! Hugs, Kimberly

March 26, 2015 at 3:45 PM

Thank your for the insightful comments, Kimberly; enjoyed your visit! hugs // paul

Thomas Kourkoulis

March 25, 2015 at 4:10 PM

A beautiful poem. It captures such emotion. I see an older woman, wanting the contact of family and friends. I hope the bell rings too.

March 26, 2015 at 3:47 PM

You read the poem very well, Thomas. Thank you for both visit and comments. All the best. // paul

March 25, 2015 at 3:58 PM

so so beautiful - sad imagery this is a lovely read Paul - good luck:-) Hugs jan xx 7 xx

March 26, 2015 at 3:48 PM

I lived with it with mum and dad - not something i am looking forward to either! Hugs jan xx

March 26, 2015 at 3:43 PM

Thank you Jan. This is why many people are afraid of old age:( I write about it, but I try not to think about it!! Hugs // paul

Dorian Petersen Potter

March 25, 2015 at 3:54 PM

Excellent pen Paul! You've captured vividly the feeling of sadness, old age, loneliness and the yearning in this excellent tanka, my dear friend. Well written! I enjoyed your piece. A 7 from me! Wish you all the best in this contest! Thank you for sharing! Wishing you a very lovely day! In his light! God bless you! :-) D

March 26, 2015 at 3:48 PM

Thank you Dorian; your insightful comments are much appreciated, so are your lovely visit and high rating! God bless. // paul

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