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Oh Dear What Can the Matter Be

Oh dear what can the matter be
Denim jeans rip it is a catastrophe
My panties on show for shoppers to see -
and I’m wearing holey underwear!

I’d promised to buy some really strong cotton
'Twas not on my list and was quickly forgotten
Exposing my panties it really was rotten
You should have seen how people stare!

Oh dear what can the matter be Contest
Sponsored by Barry Stebbings

1/30/18

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Sandra Haight Date: 2/22/2018 9:43:00 AM Jan, congrats on your Podium placement with your very witty poem! Hugs, Sandra Login to Reply

Alexis Y. Date: 2/17/2018 1:12:00 PM Hi Jan, I'm just coming back to say congratulations on high placement. It was well deserved:-) Alexis Login to Reply

Charlie Smith Date: 2/17/2018 10:37:00 AM A little cheeky, maybe a big cheeky, congratulations Jan... Login to Reply

Mick Talbot Date: 2/16/2018 8:24:00 PM Jan, Congratulations on 2nd place, a winner in my book! hugs... Mick Login to Reply

Tom Cunningham Date: 2/16/2018 6:10:00 PM Congrats Jan Well deserved win Tom Login to Reply

Gershon Wolf Date: 2/16/2018 3:51:00 PM Whoa! What a "perfect fit" those jeans and your poem are, Jan. Congrats on your trophy winner. :) Gershon Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/16/2018 4:52:00 PM Thanks gershon:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper Date: 2/16/2018 2:13:00 PM so funny, Jan, congratulation on your win ! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/16/2018 4:51:00 PM Thanks so much eve :-) hugs Jan x

Barry Stebbings Date: 2/16/2018 9:00:00 AM Congratulations on your win, Jan. I enjoyed the visual humour in this piece, I had not seen the picture then. // Barry Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/16/2018 4:35:00 PM Thank you so much Barry I was so inspired I wrote 3 poems based on the contest prompt:-) hugs Jan xx

Line Gauthier Date: 2/16/2018 8:45:00 AM LOL Congrats on your win, Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/16/2018 4:34:00 PM Thanks line:-) hugs Jan xx

Dale Gregory Cozart Date: 2/16/2018 8:35:00 AM Back to say congrats, Jan! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/16/2018 4:30:00 PM Cheers dale:-) hugs Jan xx

Janice Canerdy Date: 2/16/2018 8:34:00 AM Congrats on your win! Janice Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/16/2018 4:28:00 PM Thanks janice:-) hugs Jan xx

CayCay Jennings Date: 2/1/2018 11:03:00 AM Dale speaks the truth - they compile a worst dressed at WalMart video every now and again that will make you laugh, cry and gag, sometimes all at once. It may because I have been up all night (Tim and Mom are way gone), but all I can think is that she best not have a car accident in that underwear! Your poem is top notch wit. Love you (and many thanks) ... CayCay Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/1/2018 12:29:00 PM Oh Caycay do they really have a video of what folk wear out shopping - that must be very interesting to see! thanks for the comment:-) hugs jan xx

Dale Gregory Cozart Date: 1/31/2018 11:29:00 AM Must be a Wal-Mart shopper! Hilarious! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/31/2018 11:35:00 AM No you can tell wal mart shoppers they are still in their PJ's like those in some of our shops lol:-) hugs Jan xx

John Lawless Date: 1/31/2018 10:26:00 AM Oh dear, what can the matter be....to some an insult....to some it's just flattery...Good job with the contest Jan Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/31/2018 10:52:00 AM Lol John I'm working on another poem using flattery lol:-) hugs jan xx

Mick Talbot Date: 1/31/2018 7:25:00 AM Oh dear your not Jan, your Lady Chatterley. I found her once, three days locked in a lavatory, and nobody knew she was there. Oh dear the smell, well I declare, too much for me I sware. Sorry! Couldn't resist, good luck in the contest, I will be joining you, oh yeah. loads of hugs... Mick ;-) Login to Reply Mick Talbot Date: 1/31/2018 8:44:00 PM LOL I remembered it from my army days way back in the 60's, always thought it was just an old army song, back then it was, only one old lady? Jan Allison Date: 1/31/2018 7:31:00 AM lol Mick. i initially thought of locked in the lavatory then googled and found there was already a parody of the song with 7 old ladies locked in the lavatory so i went with a different theme:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 1/30/2018 9:09:00 PM Lol!Jan, I enjoyed your humorous piece this evening. I have worn ripped jeans but I often wear tights or leggings underneath. I wish you the best of luck in the contest:-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/31/2018 6:03:00 AM I can't understand the fashion at all Alexis but it must be terrible if your jeans do rip in an unfortunate place lol:-) hugs jan xx

Richard Lamoureux Date: 1/30/2018 7:26:00 PM I think I saw you the other day when I was at Wal-Mart. Thanks for adding levity to my day Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/31/2018 6:03:00 AM LOl Rick maybe my body double but it wasn't me you saw lol:-) hugs jan xx

Vijay Pandit Date: 1/30/2018 6:37:00 PM Very well depicted. Many can relate to some aspects of this, as it happens quite frequently. Well said, Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 6:44:00 PM Thanks Vijay:-) hugs Jan xx

Heidi Sands Date: 1/30/2018 5:34:00 PM LOL Thank you for the laugh Jan :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 5:45:00 PM Glad I made you smile Heidi:-) hugs Jan x

Agnes Krampe Date: 1/30/2018 5:33:00 PM If the poem had not said your name on it, I could have guessed it was yours :) You come up with great subjects, LOL. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 5:45:00 PM Thanks Agnes I was originally going to write about being stuck on the loo but then found it was already a parody of the rhyme. I hope Barry likes lighthearted poems:-) hugs jan xx

Pat Adams Date: 1/30/2018 5:33:00 PM I always miss the good stuff!! Very funny Jan and a winner in my book. The pic looks like she got a little sun burned. (Not that I'm looking)......80) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 5:43:00 PM Oh I hadn't noticed that Pat lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Ralph Sergi Date: 1/30/2018 2:58:00 PM BEAUTIFUL RYHME, JAN! IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR NEW JEANS FOR YEARS UNTIL THEY BECOME FASHIONABLE! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 4:25:00 PM I am peeved Ralph i had some favourite jeans that wore and frayed a hole just above the knees and I threw them out - a month later they would have been the height of fashion lol:-) Thanks for dropping by I hope you are well:-) hugs jan xx

John Gondolf Date: 1/30/2018 2:26:00 PM Enjoyed your humorous poem, Jan, when I was growing up my mother always told us to be sure and always wear clean underwear with no holes when we went out because you never know... John Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 2:31:00 PM ha ha ha I guess it was a good job she wasn't commando wearing the jeans in the pic lol:-) i did have fun with the contest theme:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Cunningham Date: 1/30/2018 1:29:00 PM Great piece Jan. I remember fashion houses used to buy battered old Levi jeans off the farmers in the American west and boil all the mud and sweat out of them. Then sell them as fashionable clothing. Of course the cowboys would just go out and buy a new pair, thought it was Christmas.Im with you on the ripped jeans fashion, I just don't get it. Good luck in the contest. Regards Tom Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 1:33:00 PM I have to smile Tom I was peeved as I had a favourite pair of jeans that frayed and were ripped at the knees so I ditched them and a few weeks later they would have been so trendy as the ripped jeans came into fashion lol - I could have worn them in the garden at least!:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith Date: 1/30/2018 12:58:00 PM Haha, she probably paid extra for those. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 1/30/2018 1:01:00 PM I can't understand the trend for ripped jeans Tim lol:-) hugs Jan xx