Oceanfront

Sea stalked by moon tonight in site
On waters that dilate gone by—
Its apparition's bed on shore,
That moon lays on like ruby's lure—
The knees clamber from salty might.

The tinting in her frosty side
Where she was swept once by the tide;
The backwhip of the swell still roars—
                       Sea stalked by moon.   

As the mood on the beach is spry,
Combing while I'm alone with I,
Ill hearted at the gills; spoiled for
The sand dollar spends its life chore,
All washed out suddenly before...
                      Sea stalked by moon.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 8/8/2024 1:40:00 PM
Awesome how you changed it, Paige!
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Date: 8/7/2024 7:35:00 PM
dramatic combinations of words - I like "that moon lays on like ruby's lure".
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Date: 8/7/2024 4:26:00 PM
Beautiful poem. I don't know how strict the sponsor will be if this is for the rondeau contest but the repeating line is usually four syllables only. However, your repeating line is gorgeous.
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Paige Hind
Date: 8/7/2024 5:08:00 PM
Ah, THANK YOU! Always have room for constructive criticism. <3 I adjusted it- what do you think? Hugs
Date: 8/5/2024 8:49:00 AM
Dear Paige, I could feel your words, which is a great sign of a well written poem. It brought forth a great deal of introspection, loneliness, but also some beauty in the world. Loved it!! - Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel
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Date: 8/4/2024 4:46:00 PM
This poem causes me to feel I am there. The power of the ocean is a powerful backdrop. Thank you for this poem.
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Date: 8/1/2024 6:30:00 PM
I like your choice of repeat line. It reads like a good contender for a contest if it is for one. Thanks for sharing your talent with us. Sara K
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Date: 8/1/2024 2:22:00 PM
Oh wow i love mauve moon and the way youv painted imagery throughout this sweet Paige! I think this is one of my new faves from you for so many artistic reasons! Just absolutely love this, sending you light always
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Date: 8/1/2024 2:03:00 PM
I've never used this form before. I love the repetition of that line... and an exquisite one it is. Sea stalked... never thought of it that way. Mauve moonlight... Great imagery. Thanks for the visit to my poem and blog. Any time you decide to come to Lebanon...ahlan wa sahlan. :)
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Paige Hind
Date: 8/1/2024 2:06:00 PM
Thanks for the welcome! :)
Date: 8/1/2024 1:32:00 PM
Love the imagery in this one... Great use of form..
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Date: 8/1/2024 2:16:00 AM
I liked this rondeau. Great repetitive line with great imagery.
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Date: 7/31/2024 7:41:00 PM
This is lovely and I enjoyed the imagery as well as rhyme!
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