Nothing
9/27/12
What I sensed was not just in the mind
Deep inside I didn’t want to believe my heart
For what I now believe is inexorably unavoidable
Into a crunch of instilled friction—silence is abhorred
Everyone feels the deceit around them—all feel ignored
In a wasteland of all that is horrid
The emotions remain in the containment of barren soul
Never was the feeling displayed so deeply
No one knew I had not conquered completely
Nothing has been won, for nothing was fought
So leave this wretched nothing to rot
I killed everything, for everything is gone
Now all I have left is close to none
And why must I live in this world anymore
Where all I have done is tatter and tear?
I am a false light and you are illuminated
By a darkened mind and an aura bright
Cradled in lies I rock about silently
Knowing you are faltering—fighting blindly
I don’t deserve any happiness—I deserve to die
I can’t keep dropping things here—I cannot feed the lie!
Their stings will end all
And I will be the last to fall
Alone
Neither with the weak or strong
You deserve to be happy
And I deserve the worse torture imaginable
I deserve your pain
And every last sting
I sensed you were left empty
In my false lights of nothingness
And can you guess what I did?
Nothing
I am the coward
I am the Nobody
And I’m not degrading—I’m fading
It is your very right to hate me
it is your very right to be angry
But you do not deserve to be torn, burned, and rotting
Because of my cold, silent broading
Never saw it coming
A false hero
A coward—a zero
You don’t need this
You don’t deserve. . .
Nothing.
Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2012
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