Not Well

Anxiety is laying awake at night, sick to your stomach, because you have school tomorow and you're worried you'll say the wrong thing, or trip in front of everyone, or that no one will sit with you at lunch because even though you have friends, they might suddenly realize they don't like you. Depression is not having the motivation to get out of bed in the morning, so you just don't. Anxiety is never reaching out to friends because if they wanted to talk, they'd text you first and you're probaby just annyoing them. Depression is feeling so alone that you wonder if anyone would even miss you. Anxiety is taking deep breaths and counting the number of tiles on the floor in the grocery store because there's a lot of people behind you, you dropped your change, you have to get your bags, and your phone is ringing. Depression is a peptalk before getting out of bed, taking a shower, or leaving the house. It's having to find the motivation to do simple things, like cleaning your room or making actual food instead of eating a bag of chips. Anxiety is faking an illness to get out of plans because you think you're unwanted, and they just invited you to be nice. Depression isn't caring enough to cancel, instead you just don't show up. Anxiety is staying up reading or watching tv until your head is pounding and you can't stand to be awake anymore, just to avoid overthinking before you fall alseep. Depression is sleeping for 16 hours, but still being tired. Anxiety is waking up in cold sweats, sobbing and hyperventilating, feeling everything at once. Depression is feeling nothing at all. Anxiety is scary. Depression is lonely.