Not My Game

I told my mother a lie, I did not want her to cry It is all she ever does, For here only the pain goes. Why does life never change, Why do I keep doing the things I do? When I do I forget I should not, I only start thinking right When I am done with much wrong When the right is gone. Happiness is not my game I crave for it much, Sadness is mine, who needs it! It has this grip on me, When it takes me, I am like possessed, It gives me phoney laughter, When I laugh It reminds me Happiness is not my game. I really wish I were better, I wish somewhat I wasn't me, I love my mother much, I wish I didn't hurt her Hurt myself and everyone around.