Never Trust a Twin

Yukon, Oklahoma was a small rambunctious mining town a hard days ride from Dallas in the days before the car, Back when genuine doctors were as scarce as honest men - and every other building was a sleepin' house or bar! Just outside o' town a ways, prob'ly 'bout a mile, lived a feller known by one and all as simply -- Dan. Anyone ya' asked 'd tell ya', nowhere else in Yukon - or even Oklahoma - lived a more disgusting man. Pret' near all the folks in town...'cludin' me an' Bucky...believe he robbed the Assay Office back in '82. The guy who worked the scale that day was sure that it was him...and two respected local boys identified him too! Trouble was - despite the county tried their best to nail 'im - a dentist wound up provin' that he couldn't o' broke the law 'Cause - when the place was bein' robbed - by the guy they'd sworn was him - periodontist, Chester Cob, was a-grindin' in his jaw! But before the jury'd turned him loose, his picture'd made the paper, brandin' him a guilty man before the trial was done, And not long after, Dan come in - a far much thinner man...fully bearded... wearin' specs... an' totin' him a gun! Seemed like he was tryin' hard to alter his appearance...doin' all he could to keep from bein' recognized. Meantime, Sheriff Jackson - as he pinned up wanted posters, took a real hard look at one and suddenly realized This “Dan - Whoever”...livin' in that shack just south o' town...might o' killed a cowboy at a barbershop in Pryor! But knowin' well that any man who'd tell ya' - taken Dan - was not that big a problem was undoubtedly a liar, He - along with deputies Muldoon an' Curly Baker, mounted up an' rode on out to see if they was right. Three-to-one was what they felt would sorta - square things up...figurin' there'd be hell to pay if Dan were keen to fight. Rumors have a funny way of changin' things around 'til sometimes hardly half o' what ya' hear is actually true. Well...that's what happened here, my friend...'cause when they reached the shack, the total fellas livin' there...to their surprise...was two! Neither had a beard that day...both were wearin' spectacles...and anyone with brains could tell they weighed about the same. “We're lookin' for a fella that we heard's been living here,” the sheriff opened up, “and all we know is.......Dan's his name.” Seein' the fellas side by side - with time enough to study - weren't no doubt about it, mister...these two boys was twins!” And - knowin' the law does all it can to guarantee that no one ever pays in cash or time for someone else's sins - Lookin' back and forth between the poster and the men, the drawing looked, to him, as much like one man as the other... And when he asked 'em, “Which of you is Dan?” the one replied, “I am, sir...and as you’ve prob’ly guessed...this one here's my brother!” Pretty much impossible to tell the two apart, the only thing the sheriff could do was - hope one would confess. “Either o' you been runnin' around in Pryor?” he inquired. To which - in perfect unison - they grinned and answered...“Yes!” “Boys...I've got a warrant here,” the lawman made his play, “that matches your descriptions. Seems a man was killed up there!” “We heard about the shootin', sir,” the other one replied, “and on the day it happened, we were travelin' - as a pair, “But them there at the barbershop - who seen the fight first hand - got no honest way o' knowin' -- which of us it was... Which means, o' course...despite the fact that one of us is guilty...the one who is is - bound to beat the wrap.....he always does!”