Never Had a Shoulder To Cry On

I never cried on a shoulder, instead I wrote on a pad Picked up a blade to kill the ghost of my past Started self-harming and tried killing old wounds with new scars Never had a shoulder to cry on so I show my tears in my art I try and look to the future instead of the past But I put out all of my mistakes, flaws and shortcomings Share my heart with a pen and keep my head in my pad Not many people out there are this forthcoming Maybe I show too much, but why shouldn't I? I always promised myself to speak the truth and that I wouldn't lie Being honest and admitting my flaws is the only way to over do my wrongs I cry on the pad because I never had a shoulder to cry on I'm glad I no longer pick up a blade and self harm But I'm still in the clubs picking up babes with my charm You ever have a great one night stand so you chase after that love? But it'll never be the same, like an addict trying to Recapture that buzz I've been a womanizer, playa, heartbreaker, I'm sorry ladies you deserved better Now I know after reading this you'll be hoping we don't flirt together I used sex as a cushion and girls as a bandage for my inner scars I'm sorry to all of you ladies that I didn't try harder to win your hearts My parents chose alcohol over me so I wouldn't allow anyone near I'd never felt love, so I had to keep it away from here The sex gave me a connection but I couldn't commit further Was the love already dead because I never had it, or did I leave it murdered? I never cried on a shoulder, instead I wrote on a pad Picked up a blade to kill the ghost of my past Started self-harming and tried killing old wounds with new scars Never had a shoulder to cry on so I show my tears in my art