Alex Duffy Poet Free verse

Never Had a Shoulder To Cry On

I never cried on a shoulder, instead I wrote on a pad
Picked up a blade to kill the ghost of my past
Started self-harming and tried killing old wounds with new scars
Never had a shoulder to cry on so I show my tears in my art

I try and look to the future instead of the past
But I put out all of my mistakes, flaws and shortcomings
Share my heart with a pen and keep my head in my pad
Not many people out there are this forthcoming

Maybe I show too much, but why shouldn't I?
I always promised myself to speak the truth and that I wouldn't lie
Being honest and admitting my flaws is the only way to over do my wrongs
I cry on the pad because I never had a shoulder to cry on

I'm glad I no longer pick up a blade and self harm
But I'm still in the clubs  picking up babes with my charm
You ever have a great one night stand so you chase after that love?
But it'll never be the same, like an addict trying to Recapture that buzz

I've been a womanizer, playa, heartbreaker, I'm sorry ladies you deserved better
Now I know after reading this you'll be hoping we don't flirt together 
I used sex as a cushion and girls as a bandage for my inner scars
I'm sorry to all of you ladies that I didn't try harder to win your hearts

My parents chose alcohol over me so I wouldn't allow anyone near
I'd never felt love, so I had to keep it away from here
The sex gave me a connection but I couldn't commit further
Was the love already dead because I never had it, or did I leave it  murdered?

I never cried on a shoulder, instead I wrote on a pad
Picked up a blade to kill the ghost of my past
Started self-harming and tried killing old wounds with new scars
Never had a shoulder to cry on so I show my tears in my art

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Heidi Sands July 4, 2017 at 8:11 AM What is best about this poem is the honesty you have brought forth! Alex Duffy July 4, 2017 at 4:05 PM Thank you, honesty is the best policy and only way to grow and learn :)