Never

I was born into a family so messed up One that makes you feel like you are never enough Porch fights every night of the week Everyone in the trailer park could hear the screams The cops got called And we got taking away My 2 sisters and 2 brothers We all got separated that day 4 years old and so scared They put me in this system called foster care Went to about 20 different homes within that year I felt like no one wanted me, was I really that bad So many emotions, and I was really sad 5 years old I went home, I thought “no more being alone” But then along came tony, He came for me whenever he got lonely He told me, it was okay and he loved me And that he wanted to show me That’s when his fingers started to get nosey I was raped and molested He told me to keep quiet but I couldn’t accept this I knew it was wrong, I was trying to stay strong I was so young, and this was happening for so long 8 years old and I was so scared I tried to tell my mom but she didn’t seem to care She didn’t believe me, He called me a liar and started to beat me My whole life flashed before my eyes That night, I stopped trusting guys I kept praying for a way out Out of this hell No one could hear my screaming or my yells One night everything had changed He thought my mom was working late, So he took my sister and tried to have his way, My mom walked in and he got caught My mom dumped him without another thought She realized I never lied but had too much pride to even try to apologize 4 more years of being beaten broken and bruised By the **** I supposed to call mom Because when she got mad she was like grenade An exploding bomb My prayers finally came through Foster care again? yes its true. She didn’t want us anymore She chose her boyfriend That stupid whore But it was finally the end I thought no more getting hurt No more crying, no more feeling like dirt I got a new family, and didn’t want to complain But after a few more years, I started going insane Started hurting myself, being the blame I thought I kept messing everything up, Every time I turned around, I was never enough I certainly didn’t feel blessed I kept it all in, pretending nothing was wrong I didn’t want to make it more of a mess I tried to get it all out by using a blade I tried to control the outcome of my pain But now I have all these scars, Inside and out They are just kind of here, But I’ll stop Because if I explained everything, We would be here for years So I’ll skip to the end There is this guy, He came into my life We started out as friends, And then we started dating He made me believe in everything again It was really alarming Because of him, I quit cutting and quit self-harming He the reason I changed Hes my love, my life, and my everything. And now, I’m stronger than ever Do I regret anything? Never.