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My Stupid New Years Resolutions- Funny

1. Lose 20 pounds and prepare to finance a whole new wardrobe.
   When eating ask yourself, would a healthy person eat this and
   what to heck is- Red Dye #2, and malotextrin disodoium anyways?

2. Quite drinking coffee and coke, okay just delete this one right now!

3.  Make more money, as per, The Secret, just BELIEVE, believe, believe
     and say "make more money" out loud 500+ TIMES per day. Right!

4.  Get out of debt, okay just delete this one too!

5.  Discover why I was born and what am I suppose to be doing?? 
     (Didn't I try this last year?) Okay, just meditate each day and see 
     what happens.

6. Which brings me to - Don't do the same stupid things I did
    last year. Oh, why not just print out last years resolutions and
    save some time. Time is ticking, tocking away!

7.  Carry dental floss everywhere. Simple. Make the dentist happy.

8.  I resolve to come up with a stronger password than Kitty1

9.  Stop making spelling errors and find the dictionary buried under books.

10.  Again, I will pray daily for a fatter bank account and a thinner body
      and pray that God does not get those two mixed up. 

11.  Stop making stupid lists and learn to COUNT.

12.  ?

______________________________________
December 15, 2016


Poetry/Free Verse/MyStupid New Year's Resolutions
Copyright Protected, ID 16-858-293-0
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.

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Anitha Jayasankar Date: 9/26/2021 10:22:00 AM Haha... gave me a smile... was happy to read a humourous poem of yours dear Constance...I laughed reading the 6th, 8th and 10th...and YOU making spelling mistakes...??... I can NEVER imagine that sweet friend... Hugs... ~ Ani Login to Reply Constance La France Date: 9/26/2021 5:13:00 PM Ani, thanks for visiting this older poem so I could read it again #10 made me burst out laughing ~ love and serenity _Constance

Panagiota Romios Date: 3/26/2019 4:22:00 PM Gave up making any long ago. All were dreams but not sincere declarations of purpose. Each day, I make a few resolutions or goals. And try to accomplish them. As you say STOP making stupid lists. A really fun pom. Panagiota Panagiota Login to Reply

Darlene De Beaulieu Date: 3/26/2019 11:20:00 AM Hello Dear Heart, Did you follow any of these resolutions? How far did you get? Yes I have enjoyed this poem. have a nice day my friend. Login to Reply Darlene De Beaulieu Date: 3/26/2019 5:52:00 PM Okay! Have a nice evening my friend. Constance La France Date: 3/26/2019 3:47:00 PM Darlene, thanks for visiting, Did I follow any of these, NO, not a single one that year or any other of the years either !

Constance La France Date: 3/26/2019 10:29:00 AM Hi friends ! I came across this poem today that I wrote back in 2016, not sure if for a contest or not. But when I read it, I said to self, darn it girl you have a sense of humor! You are not just a graveyard writer! Anyways hope you enjoy my silly poem.(I think I could just keep reprinting it each year, for it was basically the same this year!) Login to Reply Panagiota Romios Date: 3/26/2019 4:25:00 PM Isnt it great to find old poems you wrote? some of mine shock me...in good ways Panagiota.