My Shame

A dull thud in my head…growing to a massive ache As the sun creeps through the cracks in my blinds Even before the scream of the most annoying alarm Rages most days in my poor ringing ears Much like an addict in the dark corners of the city’s edges I am beckoned by a need so powerful, my body knows its name Otherwise an independent soul, what part of me allows such dependence? My shame of its control over my mortal soul No function, no coherence; Only this nagging pull of my very being. I throw back the covers and creep from my room The thought of my fix becoming a powerful incentive I pry open my crusty eyes to find my way I eagerly reach for the bag, carefully pouring, measuring Then grinding down my fix to just the right consistency The agony of the waiting until it’s ready…perfection First pausing to relish the bliss about to come My initial shame of the morning long lost in the anticipation As I slowly inject, infuse, this powerful demon into my shaking body Ecstasy flows through my veins. Once is not enough. I must have another… That hot, steaming cup of coffee…ahhhhhhhhhhhh I will make it through another day.