My Reply To Another Rejection Letter

“Dear Maurice, thank you for submitting samples of your humor. Sadly, we won’t be printing any of it, since our editorial staff found nothing therein to make us laugh. In truth, sir, our readers are of a genteel sophistication, not likely to appeal to in-your-face humor and of course because far too raucous, coarse and disturbing to people not used to an upbringing like yours, where decorum, apparently, was not the standard taught from infancy. You may of course continue to submit your humor – the reading fee with it.” My response was quick and pointed: Dear editorial staff, I wasn’t in the least upset, disturbed, much less disappointed by your response to my humorous verse. After all, snobs like you are not the first to reject my submissions, nor will you be the last. For I’m determined to write and submit my humor if only to flatter my ego until I’m dead, a fact I’ll wager your staff will find no laughing matter.