My Real Fake Smile

I have become a master Perfecting how to misguide To make people think I was ok Or happy with my life I have practiced routinely At putting on a real fake smile No one was non the wiser I was giving a you a fake trial I gave fake grins and laughs So no one asked what's wrong I put on my real fake smile My defense I thought was strong The master at hiding Going through the day pretending My pain and feelings I thought I was good at defending The pressure I felt From maintaining my act My performed an art of illusion I It wasnt solid but had cracks Not all were fake that I gave Some smile were genuinely real There was real reason to smile In some ways I generally feel So I was not all bad In the way I mis led It was for my own good For my protection instead My apologies it was done For my sanity and my pride So real fake smiles I put on To hide the fact I cried I did what I had to do I could not let it rival My soul or my desire I got through with a real fake smile Written 3-10-18