My Life Is a Circle
I hate it when people get excited about my recovery.
My life isn't a line on a graph; when I'm better I won't stay there.
My life is a circle, and my recovery is temporary.
Relapse is imminent.
I won't stay well for long.
When my friends congratulate me on the re-growth of my hair or the healing of my skin, I want to cry for them, because my happiness gives them false hope.
My success only tricks them into believing I'm healed; I'm getting better.
It blinds them from the inevitable downfall that I will face.
So when I become unwell, waves of guilt overwhelm me.
I know my suffering is a disappointment to them.
My heart aches for those who refuse to accept the unending pain that I must endure.
My life is a circle, and my recovery is temporary.
Although relapse is imminent, I find hope in the logic that my pain must be temporary, too.
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