My Language - Edited By Space Cadet

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Space Cadet rearranged and edited one of my older poems. I like it, and will post it here. Thanks Wesley :)

The  words 
I  write  are  fluent;
my pen twitches,               my face 
with eyes closed,                    halts my tongue.
With eyes closed,                             I can see these
beautiful   little                                      poems evolve.
Turns of phrase                                   turn a smile
from my colorful                        smithereens.
They save me                    from the harsh,
reality  that                  is this body,
and clutter oasis syllables 
on barren page

***

May 9, 2017
Copyright © Darren White

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Adeyemi Joshua

Date: 8/4/2017 1:29:00 PM

Your style spurs you to write...Lovely!

Jeremy Smith

Date: 5/11/2017 2:56:00 AM

This is an amazing piece Darren!! Very inspirational!!

Darren White
Date: 5/11/2017 3:17:00 AM

Thanks, Jeremy :)

Chris Green

Date: 5/9/2017 7:22:00 AM

Very cool, the poem is amazing and the formatting is very creative. This poem is quite deep and expressive. Great job my friend and great job to Space Cadet as well.

Darren White
Date: 5/9/2017 7:26:00 AM

Thanks my friend. I love working with Space Cadet, because he challenges every word I write, and every sentence I utter :)

Jan Allison

Date: 5/9/2017 7:04:00 AM

Darren the formatting is amazing and my interpretation is i see an open mouth uttering your wonderful words:-) hugs Jan xx 7

Darren White
Date: 5/9/2017 7:25:00 AM

You are allowed to see anything in it you linke to see, Jan :) Thank you!

Probir Gupta

Date: 5/9/2017 6:22:00 AM

Wonderful format ... Beautiful sketch of a personality ..

Darren White
Date: 5/9/2017 6:33:00 AM

Thank you so very much Probir.

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 5/9/2017 5:42:00 AM

Your creative expression and poetic exploration strongly reminded me of one of my very favorite poets: Jacques Prévert. If you have time check out: 'To Paint the Portrait of a Bird' He begins with: 'first paint a cage with an open door . . .' beauty or the poetic expression is something we can only strive to possess, but to 'capture' it you have to be willing to erase all the bars of the cage, and that's what you are doing Darren, and the bird does sing for you:) Amitiés

Darren White
Date: 5/9/2017 6:32:00 AM

Merci, Anne-Marie, I am going to find and read that poem, it sounds beautiful. The bars of my cage are slowly disappearing :)

Lisa Ricci

Date: 5/9/2017 3:24:00 AM

Good Afternoon Darren. Hi. Very expressive in words and shape. This must have taken time to execute for the shape that is. The words are strong "with my eyes clothes halts my tongue with eyes clothes beautiful little poems evolve. How beautiful is that. Very. Well done in its entirety Darren. Have a wonderful afternoon.

Darren White
Date: 5/9/2017 5:33:00 AM

Ha Lisa! Thank you. Wesley always cuts down the number of words I use. And sometimes it makes for wonderful poetry indeed :)