Bj Fard Poet Free verse

My Kind of Heaven

Thank God I made it
here
at times I faded
throughout the years
now I'm 
so far from empty
I quit all that tempts me
that only comes to bend me
into a mold that was never mine

As for the damage
inside
bundled up and hard 
as I swallow down the time
I can't believe is been so long
since I was not so strong
now I'm content all day long
being that which I could never reach

Now I'm fine
for all those kind
of fair souls 
I met on the road
now I'm free
of poisoning
the very essence
that brought me to be

And I am
falling all the way
back down there again
in a place that Heaven
couldn't possibly farther away from
and its all quiet outside
but I'm struggling on the inside
I'm anything but lonely
all my dead friends
keep me company

Seems I've grown invincible
in my own sadistic world
I've learned
beauty's sometimes unseen
so unconditionally obscene
but it's 
my kind of something
it's my own kind of Heaven
at the bottom of this barrel
I call Hell

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