My fault

I know that I could lose you But I want to have the two of us If only you love me too But I've left our friendship ruinous I once might have known you But your love was like a roller coaster You might have been my drug But I was like an overdoser If only I'd been smart You might even have been flattered But you love another man And I have found my heart shattered I spiral deeper down Into lack of hope and sanity I wish you had said yes But now my head is a calamity Why can't I use my head If I did we may have had us But I lack concentration Now heartbroken is my status