My Anxiety of Fear

I am... I am... I am...unbelievably selfish I am... I am... I am...a different someone lately Please not another question mark I'll explain My friends, my closest are just silently drifting away silently drifting away from me I mean I should be happy right They all have something going on in their lives I mean I should build them up be proud for them and what their going through but being proud doesn't replace the static of the empty sounds surround me Adryanna, Belle, Juliet, Felicity Lilly, Silver My closest friends in a nutshell the very same friends who drive me insane and up the wall who I'd fight for and save them all there they are floating away on separate clouds away from me Who am I kidding Were they ever meant to stay I've lost some of them more than once I've lost some of them the same way I am now What is wrong with me Is it just out of jealousy that someone else is stealing my girls away from me Or could it be that I want to be the only one they say they always need What is wrong with me Is it really out of fear of being stuck alone in my self indulged interspace singing sad songs for days thinking of their collective faces wondering how their making out while I'm wishing I was anywhere with anyone making out What is wrong with me I guess I... I guess I... I guess I... I don't even know I...I don't know I love them I love our good times I fear for the loss of those memories I fear for the replacement of me I'm obviously boring and easy to forget... Why am I so hard on myself... I want them to be happy and if somebody else makes them that way then I should be okay but...I always want that someone to be me Do I know who I am No...but I wish I did Do I know who I am Mr. Romantic but Mr. Romantic just became Hopeless Au Revoir