Mr. Dumpty's Unfortunate Accident
At approximately 2:45 pm on the afternoon of November lst, police were called to
the address of one Dairy Lane, where they found the broken remains of a Mr.
Humpty Dumpty who had fallen off a retaining wall in front of his residence.
Apparently, Mr. Dumpty had accidentally slipped off the brick wall while waiting for
a bus. When police arrived, they found the unfortunate soul split into three large
pieces. A large portion of the yolk had already seeped into a nearby drain sewer.
Crime Scene Investigators were immediately called to the scene, and bagged
the three large pieces of shell, plus some fragments in large plastic bags to be
later examined at the laboratory. There was also a distinct odor of cooking sherry
which gave rise to the notion that Mr. Dumpty may have been intoxicated before
falling of the wall. At this point, no fowl play was suspected.
An attempt to notify Mr. Dumpty's next of kin was unsuccessful when it was
discovered that his estranged wife had been used up in an omelet just that
morning, and that his son had met his demise the previous day in a cake mix.
His daughter had lost her life the night before being splattered against a local
school window as the result of a Halloween prank.
Mr. Dumpty leaves behind an uncle and aunt somewhere in a carton at a local
grocery store. Mr. Dumpty is survived by a great uncle whose fate is still yet to be
determined, as he lies in an egg grading station in Erie, Pennsylvania.
Funeral services for Mr. Dumpy are forthcoming. Meanwhile, CSI's have returned
to the scene of the crime to look for further clues to determine how Mr. Dumpty
died.
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