Mr. Dumpty's Unfortunate Accident

At approximately 2:45 pm on the afternoon of November lst, police were called to the address of one Dairy Lane, where they found the broken remains of a Mr. Humpty Dumpty who had fallen off a retaining wall in front of his residence. Apparently, Mr. Dumpty had accidentally slipped off the brick wall while waiting for a bus. When police arrived, they found the unfortunate soul split into three large pieces. A large portion of the yolk had already seeped into a nearby drain sewer. Crime Scene Investigators were immediately called to the scene, and bagged the three large pieces of shell, plus some fragments in large plastic bags to be later examined at the laboratory. There was also a distinct odor of cooking sherry which gave rise to the notion that Mr. Dumpty may have been intoxicated before falling of the wall. At this point, no fowl play was suspected. An attempt to notify Mr. Dumpty's next of kin was unsuccessful when it was discovered that his estranged wife had been used up in an omelet just that morning, and that his son had met his demise the previous day in a cake mix. His daughter had lost her life the night before being splattered against a local school window as the result of a Halloween prank. Mr. Dumpty leaves behind an uncle and aunt somewhere in a carton at a local grocery store. Mr. Dumpty is survived by a great uncle whose fate is still yet to be determined, as he lies in an egg grading station in Erie, Pennsylvania. Funeral services for Mr. Dumpy are forthcoming. Meanwhile, CSI's have returned to the scene of the crime to look for further clues to determine how Mr. Dumpty died.