Mother-In-Law Swap

To all you married men out there Who hate your mother-in-law Let me ease your pain a bit For mine's the worst of all She picks her nose in public And her finger carries the prize Sometimes, she forgets it's there And rubs it in her eyes And did I mention flatulence She can really cut the cheese And if the wind is blowing It'll bring you to your knees She's got some kind of sinus problem That causes her to snore You don't think that's strange at all But the woman lives next door It even rattles the windows And sets off the alarms She sometimes scares the animals On one of the nearby farms Did I tell you that she has a beard That's really got me thinkin' I've never noticed until right now But she looks like Abraham Linclon We took out all her mirrors So she thinks she really looks good But she sends all the children screaming When she walks thru the neighborhood Now, I'm not saying yours ain't bad I'm not saying that, at all, But, I'm just hoping one of you Will trade me your mother-in-law