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Poem

To all you married men out there 
Who hate your mother-in-law 
Let me ease your pain a bit 
For mine's the worst of all 

She picks her nose in public 
And her finger carries the prize 
Sometimes, she forgets it's there 
And rubs it in her eyes 

And did I mention flatulence 
She can really cut the cheese 
And if the wind is blowing 
It'll bring you to your knees 

She's got some kind of sinus problem 
That causes her to snore 
You don't think that's strange at all 
But the woman lives next door 

It even rattles the windows 
And sets off the alarms 
She sometimes scares the animals 
On one of the nearby farms 

Did I tell you that she has a beard 
That's really got me thinkin' 
I've never noticed until right now 
But she looks like Abraham Linclon 

We took out all her mirrors 
So she thinks she really looks good 
But she sends all the children screaming 
When she walks thru the neighborhood 

Now, I'm not saying yours ain't bad 
I'm not saying that, at all, 
But, I'm just hoping one of you 
Will trade me your mother-in-law

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