Gregory Richard Barden Poet Free verse

Notes About The Poem

* For all those who suffer from the affects of sleep apnea. *

Morning Ritual

Fade-in to darkness
   Blink slow, quicker ... eyes open
      Still dark, but I can't go back to sleep again
         I WON'T!

I feel like death ...
   Exhausted, and such dysphoria
      Oh, to go back into slumber and never wake again
         Just to be free of this horrific feeling

But Life tugs ... just enough
   Vague impressions of struggling
      Gulping for breath ...
         Heart beating through my chest to get air

Broken, fading memories of nightmares, deep
   Dreams of drowning, being choked ...
      Roped from a tree and swaying
         Dangling feet twitching with my final gasps ...

Or sinking slowly ...
   Tumbling into the abyss
      Rays of sunlight light pillars
         I grab for them, futile, as I swallow water

And fade into the cold depths ...
   Or giant, sharp-nailed hands around my throat
      Squeezing slowly as a sick grimace contorts and twists
         Its cold breath spit in my face

Cartilage in my neck snapping, crunching
   My breaths slowing ... gone.
      Never exactly the same
         But always the same outcome ...

NO AIR ... and struggle
   Then waking to this depression and fatigue
      So intense that I wish for my end
         But responsibility forces me to rise ... again

And slowly ... slowly ... slowly ...
   I feel a bit better
      Say a prayer for the day
         And hope that maybe ...

Maybe tonight ...
   My apnea won't be quite as bad
      Or the dreams ...
         As terrifying.




* FIRST PLACE in the "Morning Ritual" Poetry Contest, Line Gauthier, Sponsor. *

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Paul Marc January 5, 2018 at 4:38 PM Beautiful. Unfortunately we get so convinced that the dream is real. Congratulations on your win Greg. Well deserved! Gregory Richard Barden January 5, 2018 at 4:50 PM Indeed, PM, while you're dreaming them they ARE real, and affect us as profoundly as reality ... thankfully we often forget much about them, but those lingering, vivid nightmares stay with you ... sometimes for FAR too long. Thanks for the kind comments, my friend ... blessings to you! :-)

Janice Canerdy January 5, 2018 at 8:43 AM Gripping, terrifyingly descriptive, and heart-wrenching, Greg. Congrats on your well-deserved win! Janice Gregory Richard Barden January 5, 2018 at 4:48 PM I'm so pleased it touched you in some way, Janice, thank you very kindly. Blessings, my friend! :-) <3

Barbara Barry-Nishanian January 5, 2018 at 1:29 AM Oh my! Unbelievable!!! Congrats. I understand, apnea...plus P.A.H. and congested heart failure. No pity party here just thrilled with your work. Want to get to know you. WOW!!! Gregory Richard Barden January 5, 2018 at 4:45 PM Oh, that's very sweet of you to say, Barbara, thank you so much! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this and could relate, (though I wish NONE of yur health issues on anyone) ... I'm so sorry you've been through it all, and you will be in my daily thoughts, sending positivity your way. Blessings, my friend! :-) <3

Subimal Sinha-Roy January 3, 2018 at 1:03 AM Congratulations, Greg on your very fine win. Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 1:10 AM Many kind thanks to you, Subimal ... blessings! :-)

Sathya Babu January 2, 2018 at 7:12 PM Gregory, congratulations on your top WIN!!! Great poem. Regards, Sathya Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 12:50 AM Blessings and thanks to you, Sathya, I'm happy that you enjoyed it! Blessings, my friend! :-)

Sonia Walker January 2, 2018 at 1:13 PM Greg, congratulations on your top billing. An amazing poem on sleep apnea. ~ Sonia Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 12:49 AM I'm pleased you enjoyed it, Sonia, and thank you so much for the kind comment! :-)

Lin Lane January 2, 2018 at 1:08 PM well done, Greg. Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 12:48 AM Thank you, Lin - Happy New Year, my friend! :-) <3

Curtis Johnson January 2, 2018 at 9:58 AM Never have I heard sleep apnea described with such graphic. Congrats on your deserved top placement. Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 12:48 AM That's very kind of you, Curtis, thank you very much, friend! :-)

Charlie Smith January 2, 2018 at 9:38 AM Wow! Graphic and great, congratulations Gregory... Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 12:48 AM Thanks so much, Charlie - blessings! :-)

Line Gauthier January 2, 2018 at 7:59 AM Congrats on your win, Gregory. Powerful imagery. Gregory Richard Barden January 3, 2018 at 12:47 AM Thank you so very kindly, Line, I'm pleased you enjoyed it, and honored to be on a list with such great poets! Blessings! :-)