Get Your Premium Membership

Mistreated

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Ink Empress.


 

Written for the contest sponsored by Robert James Liguori.

I chose the song " mistreated" by deep purple, deep purple, they have some of the best karaoke songs. I cant seem to attach songs here as i use my phone to post, anyhow listen to the song. Its truly inspiring. 

I'm tired of singing to the moon, as ink flows in bruised hues, within my fragmented heart, used and shattered by censorious eyes~ ever since you left me stranded, lost and misplaced in a world of woes. Now I wear broken bracelets leaving me breathless, counting collapsed crystals, wishing upon constellations of nothingness. Oh baby, can't you see, I'm dressed in dreariness, cold and alone, where colors of dreams keep fleeting in tune~ to tears cascading like black diamonds, while sightless sensations cage me as a mistreated prisoner. I’m lost in a world of woes, searching for a ray of sunset warmth, a homely sphere that would reawaken ink. Baby, can’t you see, somewhere between dusk and dawn, I still search for you, glimpse of your starry silhouette, amidst the drowsy darkness, wrapping my aching soul.. But shadows of pessimistic prose, keep staring through skeletal walls, laughing at my abused armor, for I’ve been abandoned, forsaken in a restless river of frozen ruins. I’ve been losing my spark to sing, feeling hollow, like a blurred ballad~ hung on hazy horizons, chasing clouds of lavender love, lonely without you by my side.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 3/19/2024 10:38:00 AM
Nice placement inky!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/11/2024 4:59:00 PM
Such beautiful lyrics! So among your many gifts, music, too? :)
Login to Reply
Date: 3/9/2024 11:19:00 AM
I have never heard of this song, and do not really listen to Deep Purple, but your poem delves deep into the emotional landscape of heartbreak and longing, painting a vivid picture of the speaker's pain and loneliness in the aftermath of lost love... Have you lost your beloved? Or is it a metaphor for you muse? Your poem a poignant exploration of heartbreak and longing, capturing the raw emotions and vulnerability of the human experience. Through its evocative imagery and heartfelt expression, it invites readers to empathize with the speaker's pain and longing for love and connection.
Login to Reply
Date: 3/9/2024 7:28:00 AM
Tenor of your poem in sync with the theme of the song emanating from a bruised heart. So wonderfully expressive of the emotions felt in your gifted words, my friend.--where colors of dreams keep fleeting in tune~ to tears cascading like black diamonds, while sightless sensations cage me as a mistreated prisoner... simply awesome!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/9/2024 5:21:00 AM
Dear Ink, This is such a emotive and heart breaking poem on love lost. Incredibly well composed. You are such a talented poetess.
Login to Reply
Date: 3/8/2024 8:29:00 PM
Poem is heart wrenching but beautifully written, and so is even more so sad. I feel that this poem has a secret.
Login to Reply
Date: 3/8/2024 5:34:00 PM
wonderful poetry, and so delicate, lOve is often a missing piece for everyone have a nice week end
Login to Reply
Date: 3/8/2024 5:16:00 PM
such a feeling of woe and washed over me as I read your poem. Your alliterations were powerful and effective creating some truly wonderful imagery. (broken bracelets and counting collapsed crystals) I agree with Joseph. This is a poignant write and artistically constructed. Best wishes with the contest, dearest Ink. Have a great evening, Sara
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/9/2024 8:34:00 AM
Thank you dear sara, have a beautiful weekend you too, i am grateful for your support
Date: 3/8/2024 2:09:00 PM
A heart yearning for "glimpses of the starry silhouette of their loved one", but greeted only by darkness", A poignant write, Well written
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/9/2024 8:33:00 AM
Thank you dear joseph i appreciate your comment
Date: 3/8/2024 1:24:00 PM
Lol. I would never have guessed you a Deep Purple fan. Not sure why. I couldn't upload a video either even though I did once before. I'll have to retry maybe. Anyway, this is sublime though I'm not familiar with that particular song. I'll have to give a listen.
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/8/2024 1:38:00 PM
Im not a fan really, just soldier of fortune and smoke on water are two songs i have been forced to sing in karaoke lol, but mistreated is good, hah i wish i heard that. Should upload again
Woody Avatar
Tom Woody
Date: 3/8/2024 1:26:00 PM
PS I actually did a little karaoke on mine and attached but then chickened out and deleted it :)
Date: 3/8/2024 12:54:00 PM
IE, the harsh feeling expressed and its persistence feel very much like the real thing. I listened to Deep Purple's track. The song has a similar feeling of woe. While the loss could be a person or any life situation for which we derive our identity, the love situation is common to us all....I hope you have not been mistreated, but I think we all have felt that way at some point in our lives. I don't know how you would write this without that experience. You have such eloquence even in despair.
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/8/2024 12:59:00 PM
Thank you so much duke, i always connect to my inner emotions when writing, so i write feelings, when i cant write i feel anxious cus poetry is like my only outlet, sort of cathartic. I know few of their songs but this song is what resonates right now for me. I appreciate your comments always. They are so sincere thank you always
Date: 3/8/2024 12:42:00 PM
This remarkable piece starts with an indelible and enticing rupture line dear Ink. You have a way of stirring up feelings of sadness and longing, yet also conveying a sense of optimism and yearning for affection. Experiencing a sense of being adrift and deserted in a realm of challenges is truly captivating. Your words skillfully express the yearning and challenge of discovering peace amid despair. You have smoothly depicted the lasting effects of cruelty and harm in this impactful and artistic work of art. I truly regret what you had to endure, it's unclear if it's fictional.
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/8/2024 1:00:00 PM
Ah dr sotto, i do sometimes write fiction but this is not entirely fiction but also for the song, thank you so much for your kind and generous support always from the very beginning. Im grateful
Date: 3/8/2024 11:58:00 AM
Wow! The beginning line of this breathtaking masterpiece is truly unforgettable and mesmeric! I felt this line so deeply..so hauntingly..it touches my heart and soul so profoundly! It should be a prompt! Haha! “as ink flows in bruised hues, within my fragmented heart, used and shattered by censorious eyes~ ever since you left me stranded, lost and misplaced in a world of woes.” — ahhh! I feel this so hard right now! You always speak my soul..the rawness of emotions hits me like no other..
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/8/2024 1:02:00 PM
Gosh my beautiful soul sis, you and i are always connected emotionally and you always feel what i write. And so do i , feel your words, and this comment truly made my day! Im a bit overwhelmed at the moment with so much… and to know that i have u always to feel me and empathize is truly a blessing! Altho ofcourse u are beautifully biased too! Thank you so much always
Silence Avatar
Fading Star Silence
Date: 3/8/2024 12:26:00 PM
“I'm lost in a world of woes, searching for a ray of sunset warmth” — ah..as am I! So many are searching for that ray of sunset warmth in this cold and harsh world. “for I've been abandoned, forsaken in a restless river of frozen ruins.” — the sentiments in this line is truly haunting and riveting! “I've been losing my spark to sing, feeling hollow, like a blurred ballad~” — and this line is everything..feeling blurred and hollow..I don’t know how you are so expressive, captivating all with your poetic soul, connected in such impeccable symmetry. You have eloquently delivered enduring significance of mistreatment and devastation one feels in this masterpiece, with such power, so artistically, my beautiful soul sis!
Silence Avatar
Fading Star Silence
Date: 3/8/2024 12:07:00 PM
“wishing upon constellations of nothingness.” — wow! The divinity and hypnotizing beauty and realness of this line is truly flawless! I don’t know how you express such emotions so perfectly! It’s entrancing and so full of depth and grace! “I'm dressed in dreariness, cold and alone, where colors of dreams keep fleeting in tune~” — ahhh..the exquisiteness and delicacy of this line leaves me breathless and without words..you’ve so precisely expressed these emotions, touching the hearts of those feeling cold and alone..ahhh..and “colors of dreams keep fleeting in tune” is so elegantly inked! I feel this line so deeply..spellbinding and enchanting!
Date: 3/8/2024 11:54:00 AM
Dear Ink Empress, I love the raw emotions artistically written into each line, the pain of loss and longing. You created imagery of heartache and despair, yet amidst the darkness, there seems to be a glimmer of hope, a yearning for warmth and connection. I also love the way you describe feeling lost and abandoned, trapped in a world of woes; it is both haunting and beautifully expressed. Your words capture the essence of longing and the struggle to find peace amid despair. IE, I admire your ability to convey such depth of emotion through all your poetry. Your unique voice shines through, and I'm deeply moved by the vulnerability and honesty in your words in this poem. It's powerful, the beauty and pain that coexist in our human experience. A Fav for me! - Blessings my friend, Daniel
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/8/2024 1:03:00 PM
Dear daniel, you are so generous and kind and so very empathetic. I appreciate you feeling the emotions within this poem. Truly, thank you so very much for not just reading but always understanding what i write its truly a blessng and im grateful always
Date: 3/8/2024 11:53:00 AM
that opening line..I'm tired of singing to the moon, as ink flows in bruised hues, within my fragmented heart,..love the colors pair up with the moon… counting collapsed crystals, wishing upon constellations of nothingness. love the heart raising element !between dusk and dawn,i still search for you, me too!! I search u in Venus.. cudnt find u so I Uber back!! feeling hollow, like a blurred ballad hung on hazy horizons, chasing clouds of lavender love, this piece hit the perfect spot aee papi!!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/8/2024 11:37:00 AM
The first line itself says it all …. I’m tired of singing to the moon . Just wow. How do you even come up with such lines . So beautiful . Love it
Login to Reply
Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 3/8/2024 11:40:00 AM
Ah twinszy love u

Book: Shattered Sighs