Mistakes

I look at myself and start a fire, make myself blow up. I can't believe that I'm this tired. I look at myself and feel like throwing up. I disgust myself when i look into my eyes. I can't believe how much i screwed up my life. I'll probably loose the girl that wants to be my wife. If i do i know that's going to cut deeper than any knife. If i loose her, i know I'll wish to die. But before anything happens, i apologize to her for every lie. I have killed myself. For my mistakes im the one to blame, noone else. Nights that i made myself bleed, kept me from going to sleeep. On my face i saw all those tears. Every night that i faced all my fears. And now im even more afraid. On this hard bed i lasy. My sins have to be paid. I pray to god that i don't have to stay