Miss Malone’s Dulcet Tones

The blackboard waited stark and bare As yet, there was no teacher there A striding vision, took the chalk You know… I recognised that walk Miss Malone’s Dulcet tones Sent a shudder through my bones Her flowing hair with blonde highlights Her mini skirt and fishnet tights The way she stood with feet spread wide And the purpose in her stride I gave my mate a little nudge His loving gaze just wouldn’t budge I said, “Forget your lurid thoughts, We’re barely out of schoolboy shorts.” He nodded at her crimson lips The wiggle in her swaying hips I said, “You’re fourteen, feeling flirty, That there teacher’s nigh on thirty!” He said, “I’ve heard her name is Maisie, She makes me feel all oops-a-daisy” I said, “She’s glam, that much is true, But truly, she ain’t right for you.” It seemed he thought me quite remiss And so I had to tell him this, “She seems quite able in her job But last week, Miss Malone… was Bob!”