Mirror of Memories-Alzheimer's Contest

Mirror of Memories "Alzheimer's" Contest Sponsor: TAMMY REAMS I woke up scared...can't remember the time I woke up.. Scattered pictures of lost loves in my distant past. There she is again, she said she is my daughter, But I don't recognize her. Too pretty to be mine, And the only thing I can think is, I don't deserve her in my life. I think she has visited me before. She looks a little familiar, But I just can't pin point if she is really my daughter. As far as I know I don't have a daughter, Or any children for that matter. I am so warm at night, Freezing in the morning, I long for tenderness in another. I search for the truth, For the reasoning why I can't See things the way the world does. They try to convince me I am loved, Needed and safe with them. I do not feel that way. I feel lost and condemned. Loneliness filled with confusing minutes.. Turning into hours and into days. The nurse just came in, Drugging me up for no reason. I am fine, no worries... But who is she? Who does she think she is, Forcing me to take medication I don't need... And will never need. She told me my speech has been distorted. How is that possible when I just spoke to her? I don't recall these things they all tell me, I am scared of the dark, And the light frightens me. Too bright to think. Maybe that's my problem. They all look at me like I'm crazy... Am I going crazy? There is this older gentleman that slept here last night. He said he is my true love and companion. All the scrapbooks he brings me, That he said I made, Full of memories that I can't recollect. He is so sweet to me, But I don't remember loving him, The way he seems to love me. Sometimes I remember little things, But the things that really matter, I have no idea. I felt guilt earlier... Not because I did anything wrong, But because when they look at me, They seem to have destitute in their eyes. Why are they showing so much sorrow? I told them, I am fine. Am I old enough for grandchildren? Oh, how lovely they seem... What am I supposed to see when I look in the mirror? I don't know what I am looking for. All I see is wrinkles and dark circles under my eyes. Were my eyes always dark brown? I hope not, I'd much rather have blue eyes. My companion, Told me that I have the most beautiful brown eyes. Why can't I see that confidence in me? Where am I right now? Who is this young woman? The nurse just came in, Drugging me up for no reason. I am fine, no worries... But who is she? Who does she think she is, Forcing me to take medication I don't need... And will never need. Oh how I wish I knew who they are, I'm sorry I have no recollection, I have bled and perfected leaving scars, I just wish I could feel a connection. Written: November 17, 2015