Mirror of Memories-Alzheimer's Contest
Mirror of Memories "Alzheimer's" Contest
Sponsor: TAMMY REAMS
I woke up scared...can't remember the time I woke up..
Scattered pictures of lost loves in my distant past.
There she is again, she said she is my daughter,
But I don't recognize her.
Too pretty to be mine,
And the only thing I can think is,
I don't deserve her in my life.
I think she has visited me before.
She looks a little familiar,
But I just can't pin point if she is really my daughter.
As far as I know I don't have a daughter,
Or any children for that matter.
I am so warm at night,
Freezing in the morning,
I long for tenderness in another.
I search for the truth,
For the reasoning why I can't
See things the way the world does.
They try to convince me I am loved,
Needed and safe with them.
I do not feel that way.
I feel lost and condemned.
Loneliness filled with confusing minutes..
Turning into hours and into days.
The nurse just came in,
Drugging me up for no reason.
I am fine, no worries...
But who is she?
Who does she think she is,
Forcing me to take medication I don't need...
And will never need.
She told me my speech has been distorted.
How is that possible when I just spoke to her?
I don't recall these things they all tell me,
I am scared of the dark,
And the light frightens me.
Too bright to think.
Maybe that's my problem.
They all look at me like I'm crazy...
Am I going crazy?
There is this older gentleman that slept here last night.
He said he is my true love and companion.
All the scrapbooks he brings me,
That he said I made,
Full of memories that I can't recollect.
He is so sweet to me,
But I don't remember loving him,
The way he seems to love me.
Sometimes I remember little things,
But the things that really matter,
I have no idea.
I felt guilt earlier...
Not because I did anything wrong,
But because when they look at me,
They seem to have destitute in their eyes.
Why are they showing so much sorrow?
I told them, I am fine.
Am I old enough for grandchildren?
Oh, how lovely they seem...
What am I supposed to see when I look in the mirror?
I don't know what I am looking for.
All I see is wrinkles and dark circles under my eyes.
Were my eyes always dark brown?
I hope not,
I'd much rather have blue eyes.
My companion,
Told me that I have the most beautiful brown eyes.
Why can't I see that confidence in me?
Where am I right now?
Who is this young woman?
The nurse just came in,
Drugging me up for no reason.
I am fine, no worries...
But who is she?
Who does she think she is,
Forcing me to take medication I don't need...
And will never need.
Oh how I wish I knew who they are,
I'm sorry I have no recollection,
I have bled and perfected leaving scars,
I just wish I could feel a connection.
Written: November 17, 2015
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2015
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