March 10, 2014

It’s the moments when I feel hopeless, when all I want to do is curl up and cry, slit my wrists and suffocate, it’s then that time moves slow. That’s when my eyes start to water, and the world around me feels like it’s being pulled through half-dried glue. That’s when my vision becomes blurry, and feelings escape me. As if I can feel nothing other than sorrow and grief, I sob into pillows and arms and emptiness. As if happiness will never return, my heart darkens and freezes over. Afterwards I will be silent and unthinking, thoughts moving too fast for me to focus. Afterwards I will be empty and lost, not particularly wanting to be found.