Mantras and a Stream of Consciousness I'Ll Review Later, Maybe

My head aches, it's hard for thoughts to come through But I woke up and the band had responded with a recording of the song I loved I love mantras (formally I thought they were nonsense but then a mean midwife told me I wasn't in labour almost 12 years ago, so I ended up left unattended in labour with only a mantra for pain relief until the shift change and realised how powerful they can be. I hadn't intended on having any pain relief but on the floor covered in blood having been told I wasn't actually in pain and worried if that wasn't pain then what was pain caused me a bit of concern. I didn't have pain relief the second time either, but did have the reassurance I was being strong not weak. I do love knowing I could do that for my babies, it makes me proud... did I tell you about how I also didn't have pain relief following surgery to repair a broken wrist... I didn't use mantras then though, I just felt sorry for myself and ate poached eggs on toast for a few weeks interspersed with naps and building up the skill of holding a yogurt pot and a spoon in one hand but the dexterity to hold the pot and scoop with the spoon whilst opening doors with my knee and switching lights on with my nose. This is a long bracketed section - I opened a filing cabinet in my brain. Also in there is when I became a vegan and a girl at work said I needed to stop weaving 'as a vegan' into all conversations haha. I say 'formally as a vegan' now... I'm closing this drawer, although the next memory is when I shared an office with 2 people as quirky as me plus some people who were confused by our every conversation.) Where am I? Mantras, the band, repeating affirmations (not repeating you used to be a vegan, that's not powerful, it gets on everyone's nerves) The band said "you are not alone" I said "I will get through to the other side" The band heard me The second midwife on shift heard me I was validated I used to be a vegan (sorry, I really can't help it!)