Mad

I wish i could be mad, about all those things you said, but never meant; about the time you kissed me , but ended things the next day; about you pretending this was perfect, then leaving us in the dirt; for leaving me aching to be in your presence, even just for a second; for never giving closure, and making me overthink it all. But i can't. Every time i think i could be mad, my brain tricks it away from me. She said all of that cause she meant it, but her feelings can change. She kissed me cause she loved me, and she was saying goodbye. She thought we were perfect, but ended things so she didnt get hurt. She broke up over text, so it would be easier for her, thats why i dont have closure. no matter how much i try, i cant be mad at her. Cause even though she hurt me, It wont stop me loving every perfectly imperfect thing about her. And thats why i wish i could be mad.