Lucky Me

They always used to say “You’re so lucky” If only they knew the truth What happens behind closed doors The kids who think I’m weird I shouldn’t be so upset My life is perfect One sibling, two dogs, parents who are still together Lucky me Walking on eggshells Trying not to give him a reason to notice me Lucky me Hiding the bruises Always so hard to sit down Lucky me Trying to live up to impossible standards Trying not to let him see me cry, To see me weaken Feeling his hand across my face The sting of the slap lingering for hours it seems Lucky me Having to claim this man as my father The one who should love me the most All I want is for him to say he’s proud Well I can’t try any harder Why doesn’t he love me? Why am I his personal punching bag? I just can’t take it any longer The thoughts of suicide pulling me in More inviting every day Like a warm blanket engulfing me They always say “lucky you” Yeah. Lucky me.