Love Lost

Our relationship has died, because of this I cry I am feeling lost but I know that I have to try. I need to come up with a plan, so that I can see whether I should become someone else, or continue being me. I wonder why I continue to feel so bad, when he doesn't feel a thing, maybe he never had. One thing that is hard to face, after all this time, that I am no longer loved, but maybe it was only in my mind. Finding myself alone, after so many years, Is hard to wrap my head around it, and I realize my fears. I am no longer a significant other, not the apple of anyone's eye. No one comes home to me, as his workday ends with a sigh. I don't get that phone call in the middle of the day. "I just called to hear your voice, and wanted to say hey". I am no one's priority, no one's number one. I receive no goodnight kiss when the day is done. I live in silence, that I can actually hear, a sound like a background hum, that is quite clear. It all weighs heavily on my heart and soul. I am now a fragment of what was once whole. I have to recreate myself, but where to begin? What do I get rid of, what do I leave in? It seems so overwhelming, finding the best thing to do, when I want to do nothing but give up, say that I am through. As another long day comes to an end, I bid it goodbye. I tell myself, "I will be okay, then I bury my head in my pillow and cry.