love letter to my mother

mom, i think im dying and i think i will miss you my 8 year old self would hate me for that but you are my flesh, my home your rage is a tribute to all you have endured, perhaps misdirected, but i think i understand you now a final encore i know that scares you it scares me too i spent all my life despising you, for things out of our control but perhaps i am you i blamed you and i blamed you and i blamed you but i never knew you a young scared broken girl, your brain a storm of love, for hatred. your brain is my brain, your love is my love, your fear is my fear, anguish is my anguish. i feel what you felt oh mother, hold me, brush my hair, kiss my forehead for this is the end, and i don't hate you anymore. forgive me i will die your daughter and i will be rebirthed as your haunter