Louder

“Be louder, I can’t hear” Hear it all the time I’m not one To scream or yell Or be loud all the time “Too quiet,” they say “Don’t you want To be heard?” And I understand This, but it can’t Be helped I am one to Rather hide than To make a scene, To fall back rather Than to take a stand For what I believe I’ve always been Terrified of yelling Directed at me Or others, it does not Matter, I go into A state of mind, Of primal fear, Immediate fight Or flight, though Mainly flight Either that or Immediate shut Down from the Whole entire world Somewhere in My subconscious There might be Something of That fear holding Me back from Being able to yell Or it may be Another reason I’ve never been One to want All the spotlight, Too scared of The prospect of Being all out there, Showing off everything Being the center Of attention, I Would not like it Except for at Times, but not Very much Screaming puts You at the front Point of all People’s attention As I said, I don’t want That kind of Attention Yelling is just Not something I really want, It’s something I’d rather get Rid of altogether But what does It matter since I’m never even Heard Written on May 7, 2020