Lost and Wandering Soul

Where do you go when you need support and the one who has always supported you isn’t there? Who is left to help? Who do I turn to in my time of need? How do I ask for help from a God that I don’t believe in? “We can do this. Amor vincit omnia (Love conquers all)” has become my silent mantra but the more I say it the harder it is to believe. Can we get through this? Can we really over come this obstacle or will this be the thing that tears us apart? You are my solid loving presence that I turn to in my time of distress. You are my soft and loving embrace when love is all I need. You are my silent reminder that I mean something to someone. Am I worth the effort to try to fix this? The fear of impending loss is so great that in my mind I feel as if I have already lost you. Someone help me! I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this alone, but I don’t have anyone to turn to. I’ve never felt this alone. I scream in distress for help, but no one can hear me. I sob in heart wrenching agony, but no one comes to comfort me. I am alone with only my pathetic my mind’s attempt to keep the nightmares of my life at bay. This is my hell. The only company, my misery. The only feeling, my agony. Silent prayers sent to a God that I’m not sure is real. Is this punishment for forsaking you? Is this your retribution against the non-believers and those who question your existence? I cry for help but no one answers my call. I scream for peace but my mind continues to spin and churn. I pray for relief from this turmoil but who will answer my prayers? Dear Lord, please aid me in this endeavor and help me to fix the problems I have had a hand in causing. Dear Lord, please mend the relationship we have both taken for granted. Dear Lord, please let everything be okay, let us make it through this. We have been strong until this point. Please continue to give us strength so as we can overcome this obstacle you have placed before us. I know I ask a lot of you, but please help. He is my light and my life and without him I am lost. Please Lord; heed the prayers of a lost and wandering soul.